Happy Mistakes

Chapter 6: Guilt

Alex POV
I stared at my phone, the screen glowing with the unanswered calls and unread messages that I'd sent to Ethan. My heart pounded in my chest, each beat echoing with a mix of fear, frustration, and hurt. Where was he? Why wasn't he answering?

I paced my dorm room, my mind racing through the possibilities. Was he in trouble? Was he hurt? I shook my head, trying to push away the gnawing doubts. No, Ethan wouldn't just disappear without a reason. We'd been through so much already.

But the silence was killing me. I grabbed my phone again, hesitating before dialing his number one more time. It rang and rang, and then went to voicemail. I hung up, my hand trembling. What was I supposed to do? I couldn't just sit here and wait.

I threw on a jacket and headed out into the cold night, the chill air biting at my skin. I needed to clear my head, to get some distance from the overwhelming emotions that were threatening to consume me. The streets were quiet, the usual hustle and bustle of campus life replaced by an eerie calm.

As I walked, memories of Ethan and me flooded my mind. Our first date, our late-night conversations, the way he looked at me with such love and tenderness. How had we come to this? Where had things gone wrong?

I found myself at the park where we often met, the place where we had so many memories together. I sat down on a bench, my breath visible in the cold air. The silence was deafening, and I felt the weight of my worries pressing down on me.

I pulled out my phone again, staring at the last message I had sent. "I love you." It felt like a plea, a desperate attempt to reach out to him, to remind him of what we had. But what if it wasn't enough? What if I'd already lost him?

The minutes dragged on, each one feeling like an eternity. My mind was a storm of thoughts, fears, and regrets. I replayed our last conversation over and over, searching for some clue, some sign that things were going to be okay. But all I found was uncertainty.

Suddenly, my phone buzzed, and I nearly dropped it in my haste to answer. It was a text from Ethan.

"Alex, I'm so sorry. Can we talk?"

My heart leapt into my throat. I quickly typed back, "Yes, where are you?"

His response came almost immediately. "I'm in my dorm. Can we FaceTime?"

I stood up, my heart pounding even harder. I didn't know what he was going to say, but I knew that whatever it was, we had to face it together. I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to ward off the chill that had nothing to do with the weather.

I hurried back to my dorm room, my mind racing with a mixture of relief and dread. As soon as I was inside, I closed the door and sat down on my bed, opening my laptop and initiating a FaceTime call with Ethan. He answered almost immediately, and his face filled the screen.

"Hey," he said, his voice soft and strained. "I'm so sorry, Alex."

My stomach twisted at the sight of him. He looked exhausted, his eyes red and puffy. "Ethan, what's going on? Why haven't you been answering my calls?"

He looked down, guilt and sorrow etched across his face. "Alex, I... I've been struggling with everything. School, rehearsals, the distance between us. It's been overwhelming, and I didn't know how to tell you."

I felt a mix of relief and concern. "You can always talk to me, Ethan. I'm here for you, no matter what."

He nodded, tears glistening in his eyes. "I know, and I'm sorry I shut you out. I just didn't want to burden you with my problems."