𝕎𝕒𝕣𝕟𝕖𝕣 ℙ𝕒𝕣𝕜

Chapter Eighteen

Vince

Andrew Parker... Goddammit, that amazing man was everywhere I went. The universe was taunting me. I had to get away from him, I had to remember how to breathe without him again for a second, and I couldn't.

I figured by now I'd be better. I just needed to be without him for fourteen days, but I saw him everywhere.

That was the damn problem - this was on the infatuation level of a childhood crush. I felt like I was going to die if Andy never looked me in the eyes again.

How was this normal behavior of a grown man? What the fuck was wrong with me? Why couldn't I function without him?!

He was there in the Toy Story reel playing above the Disney store on Broadway, making me laugh about the Toy Story jokes back when we first met. He was there in the architecture of the city, the library that was everything he said it would be. He was there in the way the sky looked in the mornings when I ran alone in Central Park, making me wish he was running next to me like he always was.

I missed him.

I wasn't sure how long I'd have to wait before that feeling subsided, but so far it had been five days and I was a complete mess. I had to remember what I worked so hard for, and where I was going. He was a big, important part of it, but there was more to my life than Andy.

Was there though?

Fuck, right now I didn't feel like there was...

All I could think of the last five days was how devastated Andy's face looked when I left him standing there at the airport. After we hugged, and he cried saying those beautiful, heart wrenching things about me...

He told me he was proud of me. He said that I worked really hard, and that everything was going to pay off for me. He told me I was going to have an amazing time, and that the girls were going to be so excited to spend time with me there when they flew in for the last half of my trip.

What he didn't say was how much he was going to miss me.

I already knew that without him having to say it right then, and I know he didn't say it because I may have broken down in public right there in front of him. He was trying not to make me cry.

I could tell he was embarrassed that he was the one crying, wiping tears off his face when I walked onto the plane.

I cried, too, but I cried like a spoiled brat while I sat on the first class seat during take off. I was glad the girls weren't with me right now. I could almost hear Malia making fun of me for crying. 'Get your shit together, dad, you're embarrassing.'

I sat there and silently cried with a hand over my face the entire time the plane was taking off. I felt like I was leaving my whole heart behind.

The older woman sitting next to me quietly reached over to hold my hand, and it was such a sweet gesture that her caring so much about me made me cry even more.

I was a fucking wreck. Bleeding heart and all, I guess. 

That's how I knew Andy was right, about this trip being good for both of us. We were probably both in pretty deep... I definitely was, and the whole thing was nearly goddamn hilarious. You'd have thought we were never going to see each other again, or something. It was hilarious, and also...I wanted to cry every single damn day I didn't wake up next to his gorgeous face.

I really, really missed him.

"Dad," Tina belted, exasperated, "Did you hear me?! I said I want the ahi salad and you've been staring into space like a war veteran going through an episode of PTSD."