Decided to leave.Destined to meet. (On Hold)

CHAPTER 8:IT'S EASIER TO DIE THAN TO BE ALIVE

Suha's pov.

"I'm done preparing my report." Said Arhan placing it on the table.

"I'm done too."

"What's yours about?"

"Psychotic depression."

"Interesting." He exclaimed running his hand through his hair.

"What's yours about?"

"Dysthymia."

"How do we choose one?"

"I don't know you decide." He handed me both reports.

"In pin safety pin?"

"What??" He looked astonished. And then gave a slight laughter.

"According to me, both are equally admirable. Obviously there are faults in both the reports but they're still commendable considering it's a one-day result. Mine has plenty of information and yours has good writing style. The description makes me want to read more." I said looking at those papers of good work.

They were actually really good. He would be very successful if he writes rather than being with patients.

"I think we should merge the reports. Psychotic depression catches attention. Give me your report and I'll modify it tonight and then we can make other changes before submission. Okay?"

"Fine." I gave him the papers with a warm smile.

This was the first time that we had a normal conversation. He didn't ask me anything apart from work and it made me comfortable. It would be easier to work with him if he behaves like this daily.

****

After a few hours....

"You can't even imagine what happened today?" Sana jumped, her eyes beaming with joy.

"Ya Allah sana calm down. What happened?" I giggled.

"Dr Zidaan. He's so handsome." She sat on the bed.

"Haha so is this that happened?" I sat beside her.

"Haha nah. I mistakenly spilled ink over our report."

"Omg. I don't understand. If this happened then how are you alive and how can you be jumping around? I'm I talking to your ghost? Ya Allah no." I blinked my eyes several times and moved my hand in air pretending she's a spirit.

"I knew you wouldn't believe anything that happened. He told me it was okay and we can make another one. Can you imagine? He is so polite. Ya Allah." She put her hand on her chest as she laid on her back on the bed.

"You like him?" I asked with a smirk.

"I can't say." She blushed.

"Haha you do. Why hide from me?"

"No, it's not that I'm lying low but it's just that I really don't know maybe I like him but these feelings could also be those that fade away soon and I don't want that to happen. If these are my true feelings, I want them to remain, endure till eternity."

"Aww. In sha Allah. If Allah has planned to bring you guys together, you will be with him one day, wearing your wedding gown and he'll look at you with love in his eyes."

"Ya Allah. In sha Allah. But for now I'll have to make appointments with him in my dreams." We both laughed when she said that.

"Ahaan. I'll be waiting for the day when you confess you love him."

"I'll be waiting too."

'Smash'

The vase near the door fell down breaking into pieces.

"I'm sorry. My sleeve was stuck. And I didn't notice." Dr Azra said stepping inside the room.

"Good afternoon." We both greeted simultaneously.

"Good afternoon. I was here to ask about your progress Suha. Is the report complete? If yes then I would like to have a look at it."

"Not yet ma'am. It's with Arhaan."

"Okay then. Make it ready by tomorrow. Dr Zidaan wants it before anyone else's. He expects a lot from both of you. Don't disappoint him."

"We won't in sha Allah."

"Good." She had a stern expression. She looked at Sana with the same expression but a little more intense or maybe I'm just taking it the wrong way.

Subsequently, she turned and egressed out of the room.

****

Soon after dusk...

Holding those papers close to my heart, I sat on one side of the bed, visualising how heavenly my life would have been if I had him by my side.

He never loved me. He never did.

Why did I give him my heart so earnestly? Without equivocation. Was it that easy for him to break it into these many pieces making it so difficult to bring them back together? It's difficult to even breathe. Every morning I ask myself to smile, smile because I have a life, smile because I'm still breathing and then my conscience answers with a why.

Why do I have a life? Why I'm I still breathing?

Now I understand things written in books, how it's easier to die than to be alive.

The phone on my side table vibrated disrupting my thoughts.

"Assalamualaikum." I spoke weakly.

"Walaikum assalam Suha. You sound low. Is everything alright?" He uttered like he cared.

"Alhmdulillah Hamd. I was just sleeping."

"You never sleep before fajr."

"I do now."

"Oh yeah, New habits haan?" He chuckled.

"Yeah. Why have you ringed?"

"Do I have to have a reason to talk to you?"

"No, but I was just asking."

"Fine. I have a surprise for you."

"Surprise?"

"Yeah, surprise."

"What's it?" I asked curiously.

"I'm coming."

"What?" My voice shivered for a second along with my hand which held the phone.

"Yeah, to Dubai."

"Why?" I was too shocked to ask anything else.

"What why? Aren't you happy? We're going to meet after such a long time."

"I know, I'm happy. I'm very happy but there must be a reason. It couldn't be an old plan obviously."

"Yeah, actually..
He paused for a second. I know he was guilty-smiling.
"She wanted to see Dubai. Honeymoon you know."

"Ahaan, so when are you coming?" I uttered holding back tears that were Ready to roll down my cheeks.

"Next week."

*************