Deadlock || ᴠᴍɪɴ

Chapter 12

He could feel someone gently stroking his cheek.

The gentle sensation gradually brought Jimin into waking. His eyelids twitched slightly when he tried to open his eyes, and he had a splitting headache.

"Are you awake, Jimin?"

V's face was right up close to his. Jimin gazed into V's blue eyes, then cast a glance around. White walls. Partitioned curtains. Clean sheets.

"Is this the infirmary?" he murmured.

"Yeah. You were collapsed in the showers, and were brought in on a stretcher. Do you remember any of it?"

"Vaguely," Jimin replied hoarsely. "I can only remember bits and pieces." Feeling a strange sensation on his head, he put a hand to it and felt bandages.

"You had a gash on your forehead, so you got three stitches," V explained.

"My mind feels really hazy."

"Spencer gave you a tranquilizer. You were a little disoriented when you came here. ―It was BB and his guys who attacked you in the showers, wasn't it?"

Jimin nodded. There was no use lying to V when the man was already dead certain.

"I was set up," Jimin said. "Hawes and Cowen – the guard – were in on it, too."

"Hawes, too? Why?"

"I'm pretty sure they threatened him," Jimin said, his voice monotonous. "They must've told him he wouldn't be released easily unless he tricked me to coming to the showers."

V closed his eyes as if to rein in his anger.

"―Jimin," he said. "Don't answer if you don't want to – but is BB the only one who raped you?"

Jimin had somewhat of a notion of the purpose of V's question. He wanted to know if Jimin had had intercourse with multiple people. If so, it would greatly heighten the risk of Jimin contracting HIV. AIDS was rampant in prison due to widespread unprotected sex and sharing of needles.

"BB was the only one, but I'd like to get a blood test, anyway," he said. He had meant to sound calm, but his voice came out shaky. He berated himself a wry smile, but right then, he felt a surge of emotion rise uncontrollably in his chest.

He had been raped. No matter how much he hated to acknowledge it, he could not avert his eyes from reality. He knew he had to come to terms with it. He knew he couldn't run away. But the incident was much too painful to accept wholeheartedly.

"V, I..."

He could say no more. Jimin's eyes welled up with tears. He didn't want to cry over something like this, but a mix of anger and frustration welled up from deep within his body and spilled over in the form of tears.

"I'm sorry, V," he said through tears. "Right after you'd warned me about it. I got complacent because BB wasn't making any moves. It's my fault for not being vigilant enough. I deserved it."

Here he was in this embarrassing state, not even a day after he'd been told not to trust anyone. Jimin felt the weight of his own foolishness bear down on every inch of his bones. His excuses sounded hollow to his own ears.

"Stop it," V scolded him sharply. "You're a victim. Don't beat yourself up like that."

"But you think I'm an idiot, right? You warned me so many times."

"Of course not. Do you know what I'm thinking about right now? How to make BB regret what he's done. I'll get revenge on him."

"V...?" Jimin asked warily.