Died Hope

The start

"Take this money go to the salon do a makeover why are you so lazy iram". my mom said in angry.

"But why didn't you said me that someone is coming to look at me tomorrow you will fix my marriage this is insane I don't want to get marry now I am only 19" .I said while crying.

"Beta I know Allah always choose write the fore everyone's life.. and I am not excited for this that someone is coming to look over you and you are my blood you don't know how I am feeling from inside I don't want anybody to take away you from me.. you are my little girl but one day every girl has to get married" .she explain with full emotion and heavy heart.

"Iram I know you love me love your brother more than anything but see how we are living our state it's not good and if someone is coming to look over you just let them look it's not like they are fixing the marriage now only try to understand I know everything is going to be fine you are my daughter I am not going to give you like that to someone what happened to me I don't want that to happen with you okay go ,go to salon , have a good makeover okay I know you will listen to me you are my daughter right." I didn't said anything just hmm an turn around with the heavy heart. I grap my hijab and got ready for for salon.

8 years back my mother got separated with my father .it's because he was not a good person.
My mom was very innocent and he took advantage of her innocence now she wants me to get marry,why?....
I don't want to get married I already hate my father very much he didn't even love me he just used to say me that I am a girl with no power why???...
Why men thinks that day have all the power . Why??

I close the door of my house and walk to the elevator. Thinking about my life now it's getting up side down.
My all hope are dead.
It's not like my father left us fully .,he is paying bill of my college and tuitions and my brothers also.
But he never give us money for food.
Like one time I asked him that I and my brother want to eat something from out can we just go to gather.
He just said no I don't have money and give us only 500 for Ramzan.
Which man gives 500 for whole months.
Things are getting more expensive 500 is just for a day not for a whole month that's why I hate my father I hate him he never loved us .
Whenever I see other girls having a princess treatment from their father I feel like to just go run somewhere or just make myself disappear.

I was walking down from the building going to the main gate while walking I just bump into someone it was my ex .
I hate him he is also the same .
But he was not alone he was with his girlfriend oh yeah not a surprise.

"Do you have eyes or just lost somewhere go find your eyes watch where are you walking" he said that made me very angry.
"It was just a mistake so please don't shout like a dog ... " Saying this I was walking to salon but felt someone's hand on my cheeks aaow it hurts .
"Bitch how dare you talk to my boyfriend like that I am going to kill you I am going to say your mother that you slept with my boyfriend okay"I didn't said anything I was already broke down I just not my head and move from there. I didn't said anything or defended myself or anything because it's true that I slept with him obviously he is my ex and I am not virgin.
Yes it's not allowed it's haram I know.
Yes I did a mistake and I know but it's not like that he is my first .well that was someone else and I think so that person is more worse than my ex .
He was married yes who took my virginity was married after finding out about that man I was broke down I didn't said anything to anyone but yes I said all my secret to my best friend Zara
She is my cousin my aunt's daughter .
She know everything about me what I eat ,how I am sensitive how ,I cries what, I like to wear etc.
She is my comfort and everything.
I enter the salon and told them to do my makeover. I sat there thinking about how miserable is going to be my life now what if that person will get married to me and he will find out that I am not virgin everything will become miserable.
I just want myself safe.

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I hope you will like this story ..
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