Desires in Shadows

What the future holds

it's been 3 days since I've hung out with Randy and the others. I felt like Randy had something he wanted to say, I could just tell with one glance. On that car ride home the air felt thick, lustrous at that. It was as if need and desire was the only thing on our minds. It was mutual, it clung to our skin like sweat. We both knew we shouldn't feel like this but I think that's the thrill. Scared we could get caught, what they would think but also if we didn't, if none of that happened, if we happened. If our relationship had to be described it would be an apple, an apple yet to ripen. I hope it's eaten before it rots, I don't wish for flies or an animal to get to it before me. Something that has not yet bloomed or hatched. That is our relationship. *ting* My phone goes off, it's an unknown number.

Unknown:
"Hey Lucia! It's me Randy, you gave me your number a few days ago!"

Lucia Fernandes:
"Oh hey! How are you?"

Randy:
"I'm good, what about you?"

Lucia Fernandes:
"I'm doing well too! Thanks for asking! :)"

Randy:
"That's nice."
"You free this weekend? I was wondering if you wanted to grab some coffee together."

I put my phone down momentarily, I shouldn't be feeling this happy about this. I could feel my cheeks burning up at the slightest thought of Randy. I quickly pick up my phone again.

Lucia Fernandes:
"Yeah sure of course! I'd love to grab some coffee together!"

Randy:
"That's nice to know, Saturday 4:30 sound good?"

Lucia Fernandes:
"Yup! Cant wait to see you then :)"

Randy:
"Yeah, me too :)"

Holy shit. Me and Randy. Together. Grabbing coffee. It's almost like a date..I started to blush again. I couldn't wait to see him again I could hardly wait. But..there's still some shit I never really cleared with Jorge. A part of me almost feels guilty, like we were something which we weren't. My feelings for Jorge have really died down but somewhere deep inside of me I still yearn and belong to him. I try pushing everything to the back of my mind.

SATURDAY 2:30 pm

I look over at the time, I should get ready soon. I should figure what I'm gonna wear! Hmm I'm thinking something comfy and casual. [whatever the flip you wanna wear] Perfect! Now what to do for my hair..I'll just keep it down. For makeup I'll do mascara, highlighter, and lip gloss! I hum to myself in agreement. I should shower first though.

3:15 pm

Lovely! I'm ready now! Hm I still have a bunch of time to kill though..maybe I should go on a walk. I grab my earbuds, keys and phone and leave. Around 15 minutes in I felt someone tap me on the shoulder. I immediately whipped my head back. "Hey Lucia, it's been a while" Jorge stated with a soft smile. "Oh hey Jorge it has been a while..!" I replied. "Hm? You good?" Jorge asked with a slight tilt of his head. "You seem a little nervous." I have no clue what to say. I cant tell him I'm going out with one of his closest friends after I fucked him! I mean a bit of time has passed and I'm not even sure if he remembers..but still! I'm not risking it. "O-Oh! It's nothing, just thinking about work you know?" I exclaimed trying my best to force a smile. "Oh uhm yeah sure whatever you say" Jorge murmured with the slightest bit of annoyance. He bit his bottom lip in defeat as he scanned my face for any sort of emotion or clue. "I should get going now!" I quickly spat out, hands sweaty as I fumbled with my earbuds. "Bye Lucia, cya" Jorge mumbled. I quickly sped off making sure not to look behind me.

3:55 pm

"Damn..that was a close call" I thought to myself. What? Why was I so defensive? Hm. *ting* my phone goes off, it's a message from Randy!

Randy:
You ready?

Lucia Fernandes:
Yup!! I can hardly wait!! 🤭

Randy:
Nice to know ;) Cya in 5 <3