Don't Tell The Paparazzi

Chapter 4

Stela tried to pay attention to the thirteenth floor, to understand what made it more special than the others. But there were more important things happening at that moment: like the way Brian approached her and pressed her against the wall. Her hands found the intricate designs of an absurdly detailed wallpaper. (Ah, there was one difference: guests on the seventh floor didn't have walls like those to admire in the hallways).
"The way you bite your lips when you're nervous... it's exciting." Brian's voice was a whisper close to her ear."I... do I bite them?""You do.""It's not intentional.""I know.""I swear.""Okay. I believe you."The kiss came right after: a demanding and violent jolt that confirmed her expectations of how rock stars should kiss. Approved with honors. And when Stela seemed to forget to breathe, Brian eased the pressure. His lips slid smoothly over hers, without the desperate urgency that made her legs wobble. Damn. What kind of diabolical game was this? It didn't matter, as long as they both kept playing.She let her new favorite vocalist lead the movement. He clearly knew what he was doing. She just hadn't been introduced to kisses like these, surprising but so easy to follow. And the girl wanted to reduce herself even more to those lips with every signal of approval his body emitted.Carter took something out of his pants pocket. (Calm down, agitated heart, it was just the key card). Eyes still closed, lips busy causing curious sensations on the girl's neck. One hand sought the door's entry.It would take an eternity."Damn card," he muttered."Give it to me, let me try."A click and done: seeing that little green light turn on was something beautiful."You're a genius, girl. Clearly, only one of us is thinking here," Brian said."You don't need to think, just keep doing what you were doing."Stela, Stela. When did you become so bold?Walking and helping him unbuckle his belt was even harder than getting the card right on the first try. The low sound that escaped Brian's throat when he pulled her close... was something primal, awakening things in her she didn't know existed. God. Maybe someone should recalculate the distance between the door and the bed with Egyptian sheets. Make it smaller for when rock stars stayed there.His body indicated the direction of the bed. Stela didn't know how, but suddenly, they were on the mattress, Brian's legs creating a space between her thighs. And then, eye contact; those green eyes could kill her instantly if they kept staring at her like that."Take off the sweatshirt. I want to feel your skin," he said.She obeyed. And when Brian took off his shirt, she knew what to expect, but that didn't stop her from feeling amazed for the second time that day. Stela ran her fingers over an innocuous dragon, burning roses, and stabbed hearts. She wished she could leave her mark there too.Then the girl felt his fingers on the waistband of her pants. When she heard the snap of the first of those three unnecessary buttons, she remembered the panties she had chosen for that night when sex wasn't in her plans: little hearts. Dozens of them.Oh, shit.A bold girl wouldn't care about that, but a bold girl wouldn't be wearing panties like those either...She'd get rid of them and pretend she wasn't wearing anything."Is this a bad time to say I need to use the bathroom?" Stela whispered, trying to lighten the weight of it.He groaned. Then his lips stopped doing that wonderful thing near her ear."You're kidding, right?""No, I'm not. Girl stuff." She pushed him away, though reluctantly, and heard his sigh of discontent when she was already standing by the side of the bed."Don't take too long... or I'll come after you," Brian warned.And she wanted to take her time.Stela stumbled before turning on the bathroom lights. She didn't immediately understand that all those girls staring back at her with flushed faces were her own reflections in the mirrored walls. The marble bathtub confirmed expectations of being much larger than she imagined: you could swim laps in there. And even drown.Of the objects scattered on the marble counter of the sink, the perfume was the only thing she couldn't resist touching. She opened the lid. Its scent... so sophisticated. Chanel, of course. The other items were designer versions of things common people bought at pharmacies. And if she ever wondered who would be crazy enough to pay ten times more for a shaving lotion just because it was Dior or Armani, now she knew the answer."Stela," her name echoed from the room. His British accent even more pronounced. "Don't make me come over there...""Okay. I'm finishing up."It wasn't the other rich people's paraphernalia that made her stop and lose color. But the two used condoms in the trash can.Something inside her withered so quickly it made her nauseous. Maybe a bucket of cold water at that moment would have felt better than the feeling that gnawed at her stomach. Suddenly, being there seemed like a mistake. Her image replicated in those damn mirrors. "Stelas" staring at her as a reminder: don't feel special.The panties, with all their horrible little hearts, stayed in place.She gathered the strength to return and face him. Seeing that his face still radiated euphoria, his eyes still desired her, felt like the final blow. But Brian's expression faded in slow motion, and Stela thought it was because her face must have been priceless.He finally spoke, a careful rhythm in his voice:"What happened?"Stela looked at him closely."Those girls," she paused, regaining control of her words. "You weren't coming up to the apartment, were you?""What?""Because they had already come up."Brian took a while to respond, and when he did, there was nothing worried in his voice, just curiosity:"And is that a problem?"It wasn't the fact that he didn't deny it, but talking as if it was no big deal, that made her feel even more stupid."Heavens. How stupid am I?"The girl looked for her sweatshirt and walked to the door. Brian took a few seconds, but then did the expected: got up and went after her. Stela saw that the damage hadn't yet reached the lower parts of his body. Which certainly wouldn't take long to happen."My God, Stela. Come here."She turned just to say:"You know what I thought? That you had dismissed those girls to be with me. But you would have dismissed them anyway."Brian laughed, more of a bewildered sound than a laugh, really."Damn. Is this really happening?""Yes, Brian. I don't want to be just another trophy for your night. Oh, I mean, actually, those girls were the trophies, I'm more like a participation medal.""Stela, hey. Stop that. Look... just think... I don't know... think that you'll have something to talk about with your friends and let's make this night good for both of us. How about that?" He turned all sweet on her.Stela rolled her eyes."Oh, is that the argument all members of Dark Paradise use to sleep with girls?"Brian gave a crooked and petulant smile. Something in his face revealed he was losing patience."I never needed arguments to convince a girl to sleep with me."She sighed. It was a long, angry sigh."Sorry for wasting your precious time, rock star." She grabbed the notebook on the vestibule table before opening the door. Then she turned with a theatrical simulation of someone forgetting something important. "Oh! But there are two girls on the seventh floor who would love to have something to talk about with their friends! And according to your colleague Elijah, his bed is big enough for all of you. Good night."Stela didn't know how, but suddenly, Brian was positioned between her and the door. The fact that the man was still only in jeans didn't make things easier."Alright, Stela. You can go. But first, just tell me one thing." Brian took a deep breath, softening the tension in his face. "We're two adults who will never see each other again after today. And the chemistry was mutual. So why do you need to make this so important instead of relaxing and having a good night, huh?"She bit the inside of her mouth until it started to hurt. He waited."Because I wanted my first time to be a little more special." She said it in one breath and the sentence seemed to lift a huge weight off her shoulders.Brian stopped. His expression was unreadable."This... is a joke?"Stela looked at him dramatically."Do you see me laughing?""One minute..." He looked down, his hands raised as if the gesture made any sense to understand that information. "You're saying you don't have experience in one-night stands or... that you've never had sex before?""That's exactly what I'm saying. That I've never had sex before."Now his face was priceless."Damn. You're a virgin?" He laughed, and said it as if the girl carried a scarlet mark of shame. "I thought virgins were a species on the verge of extinction."Stela rolled her eyes and reached for the door handle."Wait! Hey, wait. Sorry." His hand rested on hers, pulling it until her fingers unclenched from the metal. "Calm down. It was my way of saying that I think it's awesome.""Funny way to express yourself.""God. Come here."At first, she resisted, but then she gave in and let him lead her to the oversized couch like everything else in the suite. Then she started talking:— Ok. I know I was stupid. I should have told you. It's just that the way things happened... it was all so fast, I didn't get the chance. And I really liked you. — She hid her face between her knees. She felt his fingers gently stroking her hair shortly after.— But you seemed so confident in what you were doing. And, damn... you're already 21.The girl looked up at him.— Thanks for reminding me.He laughed, but in a kind way.— It's very cute... a virgin.Damn. He had downgraded her from sexy woman to cute girl. Damn, damn, damn! Stela slapped her knees and stood up in seconds. The embarrassment felt like an organ growing inside her.— Ok. Fine... so... that's it! I'll be going now. And once again, sorry for wasting your time.The musician shook his head. Then he held her wrist gently:— Hey. Calm down. There's no such thing as wasted time. — Brian took a few seconds, making sure those were the words he really wanted to say. — Let's just talk then.Stela stared at him, astonished.— Talk to me without clothes on? — She raised her eyebrows, still suspicious.— No. Keep your clothes on, please. I wouldn't be able to focus on what you're saying.God.— Wow. — She said. — I... wasn't expecting this...The guy sighed and smiled darkly.— Be nice to me, ok? This is the first time this has happened to me too. A girl promising me sex and then leaving me high and dry.Stela thought about arguing, but decided it was better not to say anything. In a way, he was right.— So... what do you want to talk about? — The musician asked.She stared at him.— I... don't know.Brian got up and went to the counter where an unopened thirty-year-old whiskey lay: one of the gifts sent by a local TV station in an attempt to get an exclusive interview. The amber liquid almost spilled out of the glass.— Want me to make one for you? — The guy asked.— Better not. I might start taking my clothes off again.He took a sip and wiped the excess from his lips with the back of his hand, smiling mischievously.— Yeah. Better not.— But I'm hungry.Brian raised his eyebrows and looked at her mockingly:— And what do virgins eat?The pillow brushed past the musician's brown hair, and a sip of his million-dollar drink spilled on the carpet.— Those chocolates on top of the minibar are fine. — Stela pointed. — The snacks too.Brian looked disdainfully at the packages. Then he handed her the room service menu.— No way. Choose something decent. And order the same for me.*The fries and two cheeseburgers arrived half an hour later. The hotel kitchen had already closed when they called, but they made an exception for the illustrious guest in the most expensive suite. How considerate of them.Brian watched her eat with genuine interest.— What is it? — Stela spoke with her mouth full, and the words came out funny.— Have you been starving for the past few days?— Do I look that desperate?— No, but... if you think your meal isn't enough, you can have mine.She smiled awkwardly at Brian.— That won't be necessary, thanks. — Then she reconsidered. — Maybe... just a few fries.He still watched her in amazement.— Are you going to keep making that face? — She asked, pretending to be annoyed.— Okay. I'll stop. It's just that I'm really not used to seeing women eat more than a lettuce leaf in front of me.Stela made a face.— Let me guess. Models?— Mostly. They must have atrophied digestive systems.— And the conversation?— The conversation with them? Shoes, brands, Scientology... shoes. I mostly listen.— Wow, that must be exciting.Brian rolled his eyes.— You have no idea.Stela waited a few seconds, then carefully sounded completely disinterested when she said:— Oh, I listened to your songs on YouTube earlier.Brian suddenly became alert.— Um... really? — He placed his hand on his perfect jaw and raised his eyebrows, attentive.— Yeah. — Stela replied, still with food in her mouth.— And what did you think? And you better not lie to me, Miss Virgin.She pretended not to hear the last part.— Anything I say now might sound suspicious. But honestly, I thought it was really cool.Brian gave a satisfied smile.— That's good to know. Did you like any song in particular?The girl thought for a moment. Then she took a sip of Coke, ignoring the fact that he continued to wait anxiously for an answer.— There's a romantic one — she brought the napkin to her mouth, and the anticipation almost killed Brian — one that talks about time stopping and the universe conspiring for the guy and the girl to be together forever.— "We'll never be apart."— That one! — Stela said with genuine enthusiasm. Then she tried to compose herself. — It's really... wow. It's really beautiful.He proposed:— Want to hear it live?The girl looked at him, then stared at a point between the muscles bulging from the guy's abdomen.— You're going to sing like that? Shirtless?— Do you want to hear it or not?— I do.Brian took a guitar out of its case. It would be an exclusive acoustic version since electric guitars were not advisable at that hour. He tuned the strings, then let his voice loose. It was beautiful. Even better than seeing him on stage. And Stela felt her cheeks go numb from the silly smile that formed on her face when he finished.Then they talked about Math and even Quantum Physics. Brian listened more than he talked, actually. Stela explained about Boson particles, double slits, and black holes, converging curves in complex hexadecagonal polygon theories. And the girl couldn't be sure, but she thought he was really paying attention. The way he rested his chin between his hands and the way he smiled when she got a little more excited about the subject... Not all guys stayed interested after the first five minutes. And they had been at it for almost half an hour. Even without any expectation of sex.He was a disinterested listener.She doesn't remember how the whiskey glass got into her hands, but she remembers being the one to insist, and Brian hesitated.After the first two shots, Stela couldn't concentrate on what he was saying without wanting to touch him.It was she who took the initiative to remove her blouse. Brian stood still, just staring. His eyes fixed on the skin near her bra. And when Stela started to unbutton her pants, he held her arm and asked if she was sure about what she was doing. The answer came silently in the form of a kiss that couldn't be interpreted in any other way than yes, she knew exactly what she was doing.So Brian accompanied her to the bed, controlling the urge to speed up. When he unclasped her bra, he did it with the delicacy she deserved, not like the anxious guy he was. The look he gave her afterward made her feel butterflies in her stomach. Butterflies, no; too subtle. It was more like... pterosaurs.She remembered her panties at the same moment his fingers found the elastic of the garment.— Interesting design. — He smiled at her, not at her expense. And the little hearts didn't seem like such a big problem after all.— My mom still thinks I'm twelve.— Your mom buys your panties? — Brian said, surprised.— Yes. I mean. Some. Not all.— Stela — he sighed ironically — don't you realize this is a malicious plan by your parents to sabotage your sex life?The girl laughed. The guy fell silent, leaning his body over hers. When their skin touched, it was indescribable. The temperature, the smell... it wasn't blood flowing through her heart's cavities anymore, but festivity and confetti. His chin deliberately brushed against Stela's belly, and the rough touch of his stubble ignited her. Definitely, it was more the face of a man than a boy.Her instincts made up for her lack of experience, and when she wrapped her legs around Brian's, she suddenly realized she knew what she was doing.Everything was going well. Heaven, more than well. They hadn't even gotten rid of their underwear yet. But then Brian sighed. And the kiss that should have continued on her lips changed direction, pausing firmly and lingeringly in the center of her forehead.— Sorry, but I can't do this. — Brian said.She stared at him, then blinked slowly.— What? Why? Is there something wrong with me?Brian laughed at his own misfortune. It was a sad laugh, like that was the most foolish question to ask.— No. There's nothing wrong with you. I think you're beautiful. — The sigh that followed the statement was long.— Then... why did you stop?— Because you're not just beautiful, but also a great girl. The nicest girl I've ever met, and I won't feel good knowing that a moment that should be special for you will be with a jerk like me.Wow.So Stela tried to find the right words.— You... consider yourself a jerk?— I don't consider myself a saint. — Brian said, avoiding eye contact. But then he gathered the courage to look at her and say. — You're the right girl. And for that reason, you're the wrong girl for me. She took a few seconds to respond, absorbing the meaning of it.
— I... don't care. I really don't care, Brian. — She was more emphatic when she said it the second time, but her tongue slurred a bit at the end of the sentence: whiskey acted quickly. — Virginity is something society overrates. It will be liberating to get rid of... this.He shook his head slowly.— It's not society I'm worried about, it's you. And how you'll feel after I disappear from your life like a jerk.— Brian...— Believe me. Some time from now, when you actually find a good guy. You'll thank me for this.— Brian...Stela tried to reestablish physical contact, but he pulled away. Then, with a look of regret, the musician walked towards the bathroom, pressing his hands against his face:— Damn... I can't believe I'm doing this. I must be the dumbest guy in the world.The shower turned on shortly after.Competing with the metallic sound of the water, Stela heard a string of curses: "shit-fuck-damn." Not necessarily in that order. Cursing was a great way to control one's temper, the first stage of acceptance. And by the way he protested, the girl imagined the faucet must have been turned all the way to the cold side.On purpose.