Don't Tell The Paparazzi

Chapter 6

THREE MONTHS LATER...

She had been living there for over three weeks and still couldn't say for sure the color of the building's facade. It was as if an acid rain had poured torrentially over the construction, sparing its neighbors, until it left the "Rio das Ostras" building with the same hue as someone suffering from jaundice.Stela wished she could say "it's nice inside," but that wouldn't be true either. The appliances and furniture from the previous owner had left exact outlines on the floor and walls, like police markings indicating a crime scene. The only suite had a view of the other apartment: the bedroom of a little girl who had an army of blonde dolls and posters of the most popular boy in a boy band. Either way, the place was a functional combo for a twenty-one-year-old who decided to live alone: price; plus, proximity to the university; plus, a shower that worked well.In short, she loved the place.The decorative screens on the wall, the matching bed linens, and the set of knick-knacks under the coffee table: everything was Iris's handiwork. Stela didn't complain, not even about the fact that the lush leaves of the ZZ plant now occupied the space where she had planned to put her collection of old vinyl records, because she trusted her mother's good taste. Besides, it would be nice to be responsible for another life. (Even if plants couldn't complain about being neglected for their vital needs).Stela taught classes during the day for high school, but spent the other part of her time at the Federal University of Rio de Janeiro completing her master's research project. Not because she wanted to be considered an exemplary student (far from being the new girl competing with all those teachers with colossal egos), but because she couldn't afford to spend more than two hours in the musty apartment office without having a respiratory crisis.On weekends, she allowed herself to listen to music while tidying up the apartment. And when the intrusive rock of Dark Paradise emerged among the random sequence of Brazilian Popular Music, it was inevitable: her heart always squeezed a little.Brian's card with the number was still in the safest part of her wallet, already creased at the edges. There were many times she thought about sending a text message to the guy. The idea usually came after a few shots of cheap vodka. But she wouldn't know how to deal with the disappointment if it went unanswered, so she hid the card whenever the urge became stronger than her judgment.Maybe it would have been better never to have met him, after all, the man made all the guys Stela met afterward become immature little boys in the art of seduction. Of course. Whoever tastes the forbidden fruit will no longer be satisfied with the predictability of paradise.And the saddest part wasn't thinking that time would fade her memories of that night...But knowing that they would be even blurrier in his memories.

***

It was just a two-hour drive to Vassouras, and this time Stela left early. She wanted to arrive in time to have breakfast with her family. She missed that: the four of them together at the table, the smell of fresh bread accompanied by Charles's updates on world political events, and also the latest gossip about the neighbors. This last part, courtesy of Iris.She found the door already unlocked (her mother suffered from the same blind faith taught to residents of small towns, thinking that less populated areas were oblivious to the world's evils). The house smelled of bleach and oil paint. She noticed the new painting on the living room wall, a reproduction of the main square. The grass was a more pastel green than reality. Iris probably altered the shade to better match the living room decor."Mom? Dad?" No adult responded back. But competing with the fictitious noise of gunfire and grenades, the girl heard the familiar sound of guitar notes and drum beats piercing through the centuries-old walls. The music came from her brother's room, and it was Dark Paradise. Best welcome of all.She climbed the stairs, laughing with each step at the coincidence. Fate was indeed a big joker who loved to play tricks on her. Ignoring the "do not enter without permission" warning taped to Otavio's door, she knocked twice, just to be sure:"Sister coming through!" Stela spoke with an unusually cheerful morning joy. Spending the weekend in her hometown was a great relief from the responsibilities she carried in the capital of Rio de Janeiro. "And this warning is very rebel without a cause, don't you think?"The nineteen-year-old young man didn't take his eyes off the game. A shimmering grenade exploded on the monitor screen, Dark Paradise's good rock serving as a backdrop for the simulated war scene."Hey, hello." Otavio smiled, still without blinking and still without looking at his sister. He grimaced in pain when his avatar took a shot. "The warning on the door is for your own protection. I could be doing something very intimate that you wouldn't want to see."The sister rolled her eyes."Ew. I'll pretend you didn't say that.""Did Mom know you were coming? Because she's not home."Like any good sister, she didn't ask for permission to enter the room. She pushed a wet towel from the bed and sat on the mattress, her hands avoiding the damp part absorbed by the sheet. Was it so difficult for the boy to put the used piece in the laundry basket?"I didn't warn her. It was supposed to be a surprise visit." She closed her eyes when the music reached the guitar solo part, but another burst of gunfire disrupted the sound's exclusivity. "Do you know where Mom went?""Ah. She went..." Otavio pressed a quick sequence of buttons but couldn't avoid his player's death. "No... NO! Damn it! Addicted Pakistani brats. Can't compete with them."Stela's lips twisted into a mischievous smile."Not that I'm on the side of the Pakistanis... but maybe now would be a good time to pay attention to your needy sister who just arrived from an exhausting trip from such a faraway place?"Otavio didn't reach for the controller again. He pushed the sister's feet, making space on the edge of the bed."No problem. When you're an old loner with ten cats, it's fine, but when you're 21 and living alone for the first time in Rio de Janeiro... It's pretty weird."Stela chuckled, but her facial muscles didn't seem to make the necessary movements for it to sound like a good joke. It was more like a drama."Do you have any friends or... someone... to spend time with?" The brother took great care when he said "someone," as if he were talking about something obscene.She thought for a moment before answering."Of course, I have friends!" Stela sighed. "Okay. One friend, Josi... I mean, she's actually my student, but I guess I can include her there.""Why don't you hang out with her? You know, you don't have to keep coming here every weekend. We can live without you."She kicked her brother's shoulder gently."Because she's on her fourth attempt to start a relationship and needs weekends to focus on that." She emphasized it as if Josi were developing scientific projects for NASA. Otavio looked sideways at his sister and laughed presumptuously."Women."Before this analysis session made her feel like the loneliest person on the planet, Stela changed the subject:"But enough about me." She pointed to the air, signaling invisible sound waves. "Since when do you like Dark Paradise?"Which in practice, was a topic that also concerned her.Otavio looked at his sister, surprised. Both shared the same hazelnut iris color. A maternal inheritance."Since I was born." He joked, as if it were elementary. "And since when are you interested in good music?"The girl made a mocking sound that resembled a deflating party balloon."Ha! My taste in music has always been good.""Oh, sure, it seems like it."Her memories took her to a special night in Prague. The silly little heart raced. Then she lied, without feeling guilty."It's because everyone in Europe listens to them. They played everywhere when I was there." She kept her tone calm, a perfect act. "It's not bad."Otavio looked at her again. This time with the same fanatical air as when he was killing adult soldiers commanded by Pakistani children."Are you kidding me? Of course, they're not bad! They're the best in the world! Their last album had five hit tracks!""Really?" The girl said, trying to sound uninterested."Yes! Elijah rocks on guitar! And Brian Carter? What a voice, man! He's even been voted the best vocalist by Rolling Stone."The names caused a repulsion and a tightness in the girl's chest, respectively."Hmm... Tommy is also a cool guy." Stela said. "I mean, a good bassist."Otavio was astonished."Look at that... You even know the bassist's name? I'm impressed.""Yeah, but don't get too excited. I'm still crazy about Caetano Veloso and Tom Jobim. Much more than rock.""We can research if that's curable." He smirked. "So, are you staying the whole weekend?""Yes, I am. You'll have to put up with me until tomorrow night."He shrugged, his gaze dropping to his sister's face."I missed you. Mom and Dad nagging me is a pain.""You're a sweetheart."From downstairs, Iris's melodious voice resonated along with the click-clack of her heels against the wooden floor:"Daughter? Are you here?""I am! I'll be right down!" She replied, getting up in a start.And Otavio called her back before she left."Hey, Stela." He continued after the sister turned to him. "It's okay to feel lonely sometimes. Come whenever you want."She smiled. But before Stela could say anything else, the image on the monitor had already turned into a new chaotic war scene. Soldiers in pixels coming back to life to kill each other in a vicious cycle. And suddenly, that solicitous version of her younger brother was no longer there.***Everything in the house in Vassouras suggested that the person responsible for that home was a fervent housewife, but anyone who thought so was mistaken. Taking care of the home and raising the two children was just something Iris did in the meantime while teaching for the state and painting her canvases. She was almost like a superhero. Iris's disposition and good humor were also so out of the ordinary that often Stela doubted that the woman was really her mother. The girl hadn't inherited any of that.Iris had already done the grocery shopping and was now crushing the biodegradable bags until they turned into misshapen balls, optimizing space in the trash bag. She turned to her daughter after finishing the small ritual:"Yesterday I went to Cleo's house. I told her that you passed a selection process and are teaching now. She was surprised, didn't even know you had graduated."That was another habit of Iris's that Stela hadn't inherited: exaggerating things."Mom..." The girl complained after taking a bottle with a little leftover soda from the fridge, which had already lost its fizz. "It's a selection process, not a real competition. And besides, being a high school teacher won't make your neighbor, who has daughters studying Medicine, jealous. So save your breath."Iris made a face of reproach and took the bottle from Stela's hand. No way she'd let the girl drink that poison in the morning. She took oranges from the fruit bowl and also the ingredients needed to make a sandwich. She cut the mozzarella so that it fit perfectly inside the bread, without revealing the edges, and brought the thin leftover strips to her mouth. Stela's stomach growled. And she suddenly remembered why those quick trips were worth it."I wasn't bragging, I'm proud of you. And you're still young, Stela. Things will work out over time." Now the mother sounded like their father. The father who was never home on consecutive weekends. The hardships of being a policeman."They will.""Hey, Otavio!" The woman shouted from the kitchen door when she saw the boy trying to walk without making noise. He froze and looked at his mother without any enthusiasm. "Forget about the video game for a while and come spend some time with your sister!"With everyone gathered there, Stela thought it was time to give the good news:"Oh, guess what? My master's thesis was selected to be presented at a conference in Boulder at the end of the month. My advisor can't go, and UFRJ will pay for my flights and accommodation."Iris stopped sprinkling dehydrated basil between slices of tomato and smiled at her daughter."That's great! And where is Boulder exactly?""In the United States, Colorado.""Dear, that's a great opportunity! Congratulations!""United States? And when are you going?" Otavio asked."On the last Thursday of the month.""Wow. I think I also want to pursue an academic career. Getting paid to be a perpetual student." Stela ignored her brother's teasing. Iris already looked at him accusingly:"To do that, you need to dedicate yourself to your studies. There are no specializations on PlayStation games if that's what you had in mind."The boy pretended not to hear and grabbed the biggest sandwich. Iris was now squeezing the oranges. She didn't like boxed juices or anything with more chemical names than natural ingredients in its composition."You talk as if I were going on vacation when, in fact, I'm going for work, Otavio." Stela said."Okay, but that doesn't stop you from having a little fun, right? Going out at night and stuff.""And what do you suggest for a girl with scarce time and money?""Hmm... if I were you, I'd go to a concert. Think about it? Concerts there must be epic." Otavio replied."Boulder isn't that big, it's more like a university complex." The girl took a sip of juice. There was kale mixed with orange. "But it's forty minutes from Denver, the capital. Maybe... oh, never mind."Otavio had already taken out his smartphone."Let's organize a cultural agenda for you then. How long are you staying?""I'm taking the plane back on Monday.""Between Friday and Sunday then.""Between Saturday night and Sunday." She corrected. "Because on Saturday morning, I have to be at the University early.""Okay. Let's see... The options are... Trans-Siberian Philharmonic Orchestra..." Otavio made a face and his sister laughed. "Eminem?"Stela wrinkled her nose."Well, it seems like Colorado isn't that lively..." Otavio said, but suddenly, his smile almost couldn't contain itself on his face. "Ah! What a damn coincidence! Well... but it's on Friday night.""What's on Friday?""Dark Paradise is playing in Denver."Maybe it was a piece of kale that wasn't properly chewed, or it was Otavio's sudden information that made Stela choke. She coughed hard, and tears sprang from her eyes.Okay, controlling god of destiny, you can stop now, can't you?"Raise your arms, dear!" Iris ran towards the girl, already armed with a glass of water. "Raise your arms!"Otavio gave his sister a perplexed look before bursting into laughter. Stela cleared her throat and wiped her eyes, then took a deep breath."Okay. It's passed." Then she tried to speak nonchalantly, taking advantage of already being red from the recent coughing. "When are they playing in Denver again?""Friday. And it starts early, at nine."She took a bite of her sandwich just for distraction. She swallowed before saying:"You know what? I think it would be cool to go to their show."Otavio's face lit up."Wow, you have no idea how much I envy you right now, sis."*The night was cool, offering a sky dotted with stars. Otavio and Stela were sitting on a bench near a fountain, eating hot dogs. The air smelled of freshly cut grass.Out of nowhere, Otavio broke the silence:"Stela, sorry about earlier today. It's just that I know how much you prioritize studying and forget to experience other things in life. I was just worried. Didn't mean to intrude."Stela looked at him for a few seconds. That observation seemed to create the perfect moment for her to say:"No, it's okay. And you know? Actually, I met someone when I was in Europe."He seemed surprised, more by the fact that his sister offered that information than the possibility of her being with someone. Nearby, a little boy rode by on a training-wheeled bike."And are you guys together?" Otavio asked."No..." Stela realized how absurd that sounded and laughed. Her brother continued listening. "But he'll be in Denver the same week as me."Otavio's eyebrows raised in surprise, he finished chewing his hot dog and then asked:"Is he also in STEM?""No. Well, and he doesn't know I'll be in Denver.""You didn't exchange contacts?""Yeah. I have his number and even wanted to send a message, but...""Is he married?""No! For god's sake, no," Stela laughed. Suddenly, that was the least of her worries."So what's the problem with sending the message?"The girl tilted her head back and sighed, the silver moonlight reflected in her eyes. She found it funny how her brother made everything seem so simple."I'm afraid he won't respond, that I didn't mean that much to him."Otavio searched for the right words so that his sister wouldn't judge him immature."Stela, it's very simple. If you don't send the message, he won't know you'll be there. So you'll miss the chance to see if it was meant to work out between you. Now, if he doesn't respond, you'll know this guy is an idiot and you can go find someone who truly deserves you."It made sense. Her little brother, addicted to video games, was a genius."You're right."Iris sent messages on their phones saying that dinner was ready. Neither of them was hungry. (And neither would tell about the hot dogs either.) They got up and walked very slowly. When they were almost at the door, Otavio said,"You should invite him to go to the Dark Paradise concert with you."Stela laughed. Oh, if Otavio only knew..."Yeah, I should invite him."

***

It took almost a week to figure out what to write, plus a few days to muster up the courage and send the text message. Then, exactly one hour before catching her connecting flight to Denver in New York, Stela pressed the send button on the two-line text. It would help deal with the anticipation knowing she couldn't fiddle with the device during the trip.
When she finally set foot on the ground and took her phone off airplane mode, the joy she felt was akin to that of the elderly couple beside her who shared a warm hug of reunion (airports are factories of genuine affectionate gestures). Brian had responded. And Stela took a deep breath before rereading the man's words:[Brian]: Of course I remember you, Stela! The prodigy girl who loves numbers and quantum physics. Give me your full name, VIP guest.See you tomorrow. ;)