Stripped

Chapter 6

I am raging when I get back to campus. I've had twenty minutes to think on the way back and I've decided that I feel like I am the one they are after, and doubt they will help me. I don't want to walk up the hill and back to my room. I don't want to have to face my friends and tell them where I've been all weekend, all afternoon. I know they are starting to wonder what is going on with me.

Instead, I find my gym bag behind the seat of my truck. The clothes are dirty but I decide they'll be good enough. I go into the gym instead of my room and spend two hours lifting and running, despite the looks I get from the guys. There's nothing else that will calm me down except for the monotony of counting my reps.

By the time I get back to my room, my friends have already been to dinner without me, their texts say as much. I grab a sad looking salad from the student center and take it to my room. I am only able to nibble at it. I feel sick to my stomach and choose to shower instead. I know I have to get back to my friends, but I just am not ready to face them.

The shower is my refuge, it's where I refuel, something about the hot water pouring over my body makes me feel human again and gives me the release I need. I think back through my interrogation with the detectives though, and the fire in me ignites again before I can get out of the shower. I know I was naive to trust Jonathan blindly, but I thought I was being smart. I took my own vehicle, tried to control my intake of alcohol, ordered and bought my own drinks until I felt like he was trustworthy, and went to public places, well at least until he took me to his house. Yet somehow, these two detectives questioned me like I was the one who committed a crime.

Giving up on the shower, I let the tears stream down my face as I dry off and head back to my dorm room in my towel. When I get there, my door is cracked again. Sometimes I wish AJ didn't know how to pick my lock.

I push open the door, ready to reprimand him, but instead I find both him and Janae. When Janae sees my tear streaked face, she comes to me.

"Girl, I knew there was something wrong. I know you like your alone time, but we've barely seen you all weekend and AJ won't tell me what's going on."

I hike my towel up a little higher on my frame. "I've just been busy," is all I am able to squeak out.

Janae gives me the look, her eyebrows scowling at me, "Is it the math contest? Did Sai give you a hard time for winning? Do you not want to move across the country?"

"No, I'm excited about all of that. Actually, I can't wait to get out of here," I tell her. AJ looks at me, the light from his eyes gone, and I understand that he's not looking forward to me moving away. He doesn't think that I feel the same way, but how do I tell him?

I change the subject instead, "Why don't you let me put clothes on and I'll come sit with you two."

They are faced away from me, their backs to my dresser as I dig out clothes. After today, it doesn't matter much anyway, I feel like everyone has seen all of me, and both AJ and Janae have seen me naked before, so I just drop the towel and throw on pajama pants and a t-shirt with no bra. While I brush my hair, I try to figure out what I'm going to say to them.

The salad I picked at is still on the coffee table and when I get around to joining them, I am finally ravenous. Maybe having friends with me is a good thing. Without talking, I pick up my salad and begin devouring it, barely chewing the lettuce before I swallow. I use my fork to grab the large slices of tomato and fold them in half before stuffing it into my mouth. I can see Janae and AJ giving each other looks in my peripheral vision. I don't even care.

When I have eaten every morsel I can pick up from my plastic container, AJ finally says something, "Why don't you tell Janae what's going on? She's worried about you," he pauses, "all of us are."