"What if I never forget you?" was a promise you should never have made.
For fate is cruel and unforgiving. It will twist and turn your promise into a curse that haunts you to hell and beyond, from birth to death, and finally from your first to your...
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"Yah!" Heeseung sees Jay walk past him and almost chokes on his ramyeon noodles. "Hey! Yah! Jay-ah! Is your phone broken or something?" Heeseung calls after him, immediately wiping his mouth of the soup and going after him to find Jay laid on his bed, tired and exhausted, be it physically or emotionally.
Heeseung leans on the door frame. "Do you know how many times Ryu Hayul has called you? How many times I called you?" He asks, demanding, yet concerned. "She's gone so far to spam me to force you to call her. I couldn't write a single chapter without her bothering me and my editor is already breathing down my neck about the deadline." His head drops to his shoulder in exhaustion.
"I wouldn't know, since I turned off my phone to keep from breaking it," Jay lets out a deep breath before turning to Heeseung. "And I said I wouldn't see her again, there's no reason for me to anyway."
Heeseung observes Jay attentively. "It's her, isn't it?" he asks, getting his answer instantly. Jay's eyes meet his, this certain tension burning. "Mirae is still blowing up your phone, isn't she?"
Heeseung sighs and runs a hand through his wine-red dyed hair, looking disapproving. "Jay, be honest with me," he folds his arms over his chest, "You know I've been holding back all this time in your relationship because I'm not the type to tell you what to do and what not."
"I really didn't want us to fight because of this, but seriously, I can't take it anymore," Heeseung took a deep breath, "are you still in love with her even after everything?" He couldn't help the disbelief in his voice.
Jay quietly sits up and pursues his lips, "Hyung, I broke up with her,"he says slowly, only now really coming to terms with his whole act. A small frown appears on his forehead, as if conflicted.
"But are you still in love with her?" Heeseung repeated, adding weight to his words. "Isn't that why you can't block her and why you still take the calls? Aren't you hoping she comes back?"
"I, I, no, I just..." Jay's grip on the pillow in his lap tightens in stress, he feels betrayed for some reason.
The bed sank as Heeseung sat down by his side. "Someone like that doesn't deserve to get loved by you, you know that, at least I tried to let you know that," he said more quietly. "I know it's hard for you to give her up, I know, but it's not worth throwing your life away." He catches Jay's knuckles turning white when gripping the pillow tighter.
"Sure she was your first love, sure you have all these memories of her, but Jay-ah, they're just memories, they're not eternal, you forget them eventually, you let them go, and eventually they have no meaning. Of course, I don't think I'll ever understand how much you're really going through, how many times you've been through this. But what if there is someone who's really worth going through all this for? Waiting for you to keep looking for them, your reason?"
