Someone to Love

-15-

The next morning was so stressful. The storm had caused so much damage that every inmate was working to try to get the place back up to par... or at least livable. There really was no par in this hellhole.

Poussey and I were in the library attempting to fix the damage in there. Apparently, when Taystee and Poussey came down here, they didn't save all the books, so some of them were now warped, their pages stiff and yellowing. I was reshelving the books when Taystee came in. Poussey smiled as she made her way over to our bookshelf, the same bookshelf we first had sex behind. That was OUR spot and I didn't want Taystee anywhere near it. Handing her a book, the two started playing nice, as if everything was swell.

It made me fucking sick.

Dropping my book on the floor, I walked right past those two and left the library. I didn't forgive so easily. I had nowhere else to go that Poussey wouldn't come look for me, so I decided to go outside for a bit. I grabbed a jacket and walked around the yard.

The storm had not only destroyed the inside, the outside was just as bad. Branches were strewn about the yard and there were parts of the fence that had been damaged. The only thing that looked moderately held together out here was the greenhouse. Normally, Red was out here with her group of nursing home rejects, so I decided to drop in and check on them to make sure they hadn't died yet.

"Red, you in here, right?" I asked, stepping inside. And although I didn't get an answer, I saw that she was in here

On the floor

Bleeding.

"Red? RED?!?!" I screamed. She was unconscious, blood gushing from her face.

Quickly backing out of the greenhouse, I ran to find a CO. I tugged the first one I saw by the arm all the way outside as he threw threats of shots at me. But he finally shut up when he saw what happened. He radioed it in and told me to get outta here unless I wanted the incident pinned on me. Taking his advice, I jogged back inside in an attempt to not draw any attention on myself. But I guess I didn't do a good job of it, because as soon as I made it back to my bunk, Nicki was waiting.

"What the fuck happened out there?" She asked, stopping her pacing.

"I don't know," I answered honestly. "I just went out there to see her and then I find her bleeding on the ground unconscious."

Nicki took two steps closer to me. We were nose and nose. "What was the wound like? This is important." Her eyes were tight and determined, not a single visible tear.

"There was so much blood I couldn't really see, but It was big and open and just under her eye."

"So too big for a shovel, plus those are plastic out there. That narrows it down to only one thing." She resumed her pacing.

I wanted to be alone in my bunk to pretend that today never happened, but I couldn't. I wanted to tell Nicki to just leave, but she was going through some shit. Things were happening in here that were beyond my control. People were being attacked. Enemies were becoming friends. Lovers were becoming estranged. I didn't like what was going on in here. I wanted out. Now.

I ran as quickly as I could to the phones where luckily no one was around. I dialed a number as quickly as I could and prayed that those two would answer. The twins. My friends. The two people on this planet who moderately cared about my well being. The phone continued to ring and ring until finally the answering machine picked up. Their bright, bubbly greeting made me sick. How could they have to freedom to walk around out there and be happy but I was stuck in this bullshit? There were right there with me the entire trip. Why the fuck weren't they in here with me? Finally the greeting ended and the tone signaled me to "leave a message and have a wonderful day" to quote the bubbliness.