Someone to Love

-14-

"I'm telling you it's definitely not worth it." Poussey said as she limped back from commissary. I had asked her earlier what had happened, but she told me that she had slipped and fallen in the shower and that I shouldn't worry. I tried not to be concerned. Note: tried. So I thought about something else... like my commissary. My commissary had finally come in and I could finally get the stuff I needed like maxi pads and tampons. Wads of rolled up tissue wasn't helping anymore. Mother nature's evil gift came yesterday and so far I was a walking mix of cramps, PMS, and leakage.

I sighed and combed through my new bag of goodies. My parents came through and stuffed my account so I was able to get everything, including a good lock to keep stealers away. Rolling my eyes at Poussey, I replied, "What? Getting even with the girl who just about trashed your friendship because of some stupid lady who thinks she can be everyone's Mom? You know you want to hurt her just as much as I do."

"That's not even fair, Katrina, and you know it. Taystee is being run by Vee. That's the only reason why she would be so mean. Taystee isn't really like that. She's actually quite nice when you get to know her."

I stopped walking. "Are you defending her? Did you really just defend that bitch? Are you serious right now?" I was mad now. My own girlfriend (was that what she was? I mean, I never asked her out and she never asked me out, so....) was defending the bitch that was making it her next goal to make my life miserable. She had beaten me and humiliated me. And now here I was listening to her being defended by the person I thought was the closest to me. "Poussey, she tripped me in the cafeteria in front of everyone." I lowered my voice. "She fucking beat me in the library because I wouldn't tell her about us."

"What?"

"Yeah, that's right." I said, smugly. "She came in and she fucking beat me. All because I didn't tell her that you and I were a thing."

Poussey reached up to touch the bruise that was healing just below my right eye. It wasn't as big and ugly as it was yesterday, but my abdomen was still tattooed with an array of blacks and blues.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked, gently stroking my face. Blood rushed to my face and I felt the skin go red. While my face was going red from adoration, my mind was turning the exact same color from anger.

"I would've but now I'm glad I didn't considering you're going to stand here and defend her."

She dropped her hand in silence. She shrugged. "Look, Katrina, that's not really her thinking. She's being controlled by Vee and-"

"You know what, Poussey. Save it, alright?" Scoffing, I turned and walked away, hoping that she wouldn't follow me. I headed back to my dorm where I lied there reading and being normally bored. Gina came in after a while so we played some cards until both of us got bored with that. That was the thing about jail. In between working at the library three days a week, there was absolutely nothing to do to be productive in here.

Lunch came so I made my way down to the cafeteria to grab something to eat. Today's lunch consisted of a ham (I think it was ham) and cheese sandwich, soggy French fries and a fruit cup. I was the first one at the table, so I sat down in my usual spot. I was just starting to try to eat the ham sandwich which tasted old when Poussey came over and sat down across from me. I glared at her from under my lashes, but said nothing.

"Look, Katrina, I know you're mad, but you really don't have the need to be."

I started working on the soggy fries.

"Katrina." She placed a hand on top of mine, sending unexpected jolts up my arm. I noticeably flinched. "Listen, alright. You don't have to worry about Taystee... or Vee, for that matter."