Why me? (CALL OF DUTY - ALTERNATE UNIVERSE)

Chapter 7

Days pass and between rare messages from Milena, who is now very busy with dance rehearsals, Julian occasionally writes me simple messages "How are you?"-"What are you doing this evening?" - "Work?" Thanks to his messages I get lost away in my lonely moments even though negative thoughts always elbow their way in.

When I return from work his messages bring a smile to my face and lighten the weariness of the day.

Today is Friday and I can finally throw my work clothes in the washing machine and put on my pajamas. It has started raining outside and there is nothing better than eating by candlelight with the sound of rain in the background. It has always had a relaxing effect on me, many times I use it as a background to help me fall asleep.

I make myself some risotto with speck, cacio and pepper. A long dish to cook but not complicated to make. I turn off the lights, light a candle and sit at the window with my nice steaming dish. When I open my mouth, my phone rings. A message...

JULIAN: Are you at home?

ME: Yes, why?

DRIIN DRIIN.

What? The doorbell? I get up and open the door. "Hello, Mariam."

"Julian?"

"Sorry I was going to come by but then I saw the lights off so..."

"Come in you're all wet, you didn't stand outside waiting for me, right?!"

"Well... I thought you hadn't come home from work yet and... since I was nearby I decided to wait for you."

"Actually with the lights off I don't seem to be at home, I had prepared a little corner at the window to dine in peace accompanied by the rain... Anyway all you had to do was text me instead of soaking yourself out there." I look at him taking the phone and take a picture. "I wonder what Milena will say when she sees you like this..." his reaction is instinctive and he grabs my wrist forcefully "DON'T DO IT!" His reaction startles me and from my expression Julian realizes he has gone too far. He lets go of my wrist and apologizes by lowering his tone of voice "Milena is rehearsing now, no need to bother her." He turns his gaze and takes off his coat.

I am still shaken by his reaction and as I touch my wrist I try to calm down. His sudden high tone of voice startled me more than it should have. I still suffer from it, one of the many small traumas I carry. When someone raises his voice suddenly I become paralyzed and my heart loses a beat and small cold shivers begin to run down my neck.

"You can lay your coat on there. Take off your shoes though or you'll get my whole floor wet." I tell him still a little shaken. "If you need the bathroom it's always down the hall on the right. Have you eaten yet?"

"No, I haven't eaten dinner. I'm going to dry off for a moment, thank you." And he locks himself in the bathroom.

Meanwhile I prepare a plate of risotto for him as well. When he comes out I immediately notice that he has taken off his shirt remaining in a tank top. His exposed muscular arms and strong chest covered with fine hair is wrapped tightly by the fabric. Damn... how pathetic I am... I am so desperate for a touch that I turn red just looking at a pair of muscles.

Julian sits down in front of me and takes the plate in his hand. "Sorry about earlier..." he begins to eat.

"It's okay."

"It's not, I saw the look on your face." He doesn't look at my face as he talks lost in devouring the food.

"Do you like it?" I change the subject.

He nods and finishes it "Did you even breathe?"

"I was hungry..." he wipes his mouth, smiling. That damn smile... his eyebrows rise and small frown lines form on his forehead and around his eyes. His cheekbones more pronounced and two small dimples fall back into his cheeks. What torture...