Why me? (CALL OF DUTY - ALTERNATE UNIVERSE)

Chapter 9

I spent the night sleeping on the floor in front of the door. The terror of moving and being grabbed by Simon paralyzed me on the spot. The sun illuminates the apartment and that dark hallway with Simon's eyes have vanished.

I stand up in pain and confusion, my legs stiff and trembling from the position I was sitting in. I walk down the hallway with one hand on my head, the bathroom mirror showing a girl pale and almost aged from her turbulent sleep. I wash my face and go to eat something.

Breakfast gets cold, I have been staring at a fixed point all the time. The cookie in my teeth melts from saliva and falls on the table. I recover when my attention is kidnapped by a cell phone notification, "tonight's show."

"Shit..." I forgot that tonight is Milena's dance performance and that I fucked her boyfriend yesterday. I put my hands to my forehead at the thought of what happened, the memory of his body, his voice and his touch... How can I look him in the eyes from now on? Is this what a one-night stand feels like? Is this what it feels like when you sleep with your best friend's boyfriend? But I don't regret anything because for once I wanted to be happy.

I sigh bitterly. I didn't think I would have another hallucination of Simon again, it was terrifying. Many times I think back to him and how he might react if he found me after what happened. He had made me cut off all communication with any guy I knew, if he now came to know that I had sex with another guy... but what am I thinking!? Months have passed and he has surely found another woman or gotten himself killed on one of his missions. I didn't even hear from my parents anymore, they totally shut me out of their lives.

I wanted to be happy for once and I don't regret what I did.

The day passes quickly and I find myself in the bathroom getting ready for the evening. I haven't been able to get Julian out of my mind for a second, and the embarrassment of seeing him again after last night is driving me crazy. "Mariam stop thinking, that's enough!" I give in to temptation and take some Xanax drops to clear my mind and be calmer. "I'm ready." I call an uber and let him take me to the show.

//////

Julian has spent the night tossing and turning in bed. He is more agitated than Milena about her performance. He knows it is an important night for her because she might be selected for a cast in an important film.

"See you tonight. Don't be late!" Milena tells him before kissing him on the mouth. A deep kiss but one that leaves on Julian's lips a taste of deep guilt but also of a different feeling... a taste he can no longer appreciate, the memory of Mariam's lips crosses his mind.

Milena smiles and caresses his face, Julian does what he does best, acts and returns the smile by showing his teasing canines. "I could never miss."

When she walks out the door he sighs and runs a hand through his hair. He looks up and then rubs his face. He clutches the phone tempted to text Mariam but he does not. He knows it is wrong, and tonight he will see her again... oh God.

Show time is getting close and Julian is already driving to the theater. After parking he goes up the VIP staircase, many girls have already noticed his arrival and are all shouting happily. He waves and smiles quickly and then disappears inside the theater. He shows his ticket and is escorted to his seat.

"This way, sir." The staff person moves the curtains and lets him in.

Julian and I immediately cross eyes. The gallery is just for the two of us, one of the best reserved spaces. I roll my eyes awkwardly, Julian on the other hand clears his throat as he takes a seat next to me.

"How are you?"

"Fine thanks and... you?" A more banal speech could not have come out. What was I expecting? A 32-tooth salute as if nothing had happened? Silence fell between us, and for a moment the air became electric.