kaya's adoption story (Taylor's version)

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Kaya's version

-dinner is ready ! - started creating a plan in my head how to get myself out of eating but deep down I known that, that all aren't gonna just go well. I walked down trying to stay calm.

We started eating in silence, both of us afraid to start any topic. Or more accurate Tay was eating an I was moving food around plate.

- Try it, it isn't bad. - Taylor said pointing on food in front of me. At that point she was nearly finishing and I didn't even touch it.

I started taking really small bites of past, trying not to cry.

- if you really don't want that you can eat something else later. You need to remember that in this house it's really important to eat. - I was happy that she let me go without eating a whole plate but I felt bad for kipping her by the table so long for me eat a few bites. I saw that Taylor wanted to have that talk after dinner cos she seen that I couldn't focus around food.

Taylor's version

After what I saw today I was truly concern about the girl. I saw she has scars and bruises on her wrists, she was struggling to eat. I don't known Kaya long but I can tell she is different I just can't tell why. I don't think I would do that to any kid on the street. Like, for sure I would call police or something but I wouldn't tak kid to me but here I am.

we sat on couch cuddled up under blanket. we sat like that for some time in comfortable silence.

- what do you want me to do to help you ? - I asked, having no idea how to start that topic. she tensed up a little but still didn't change position.

- onsetly I don't know... my social worker doesn't care about me, she just wants to get job done and is really mad when I need new placement. - I seen tears bottling in her eyes.

- Hej it's okay.... I could try get you new social worker if you wat me to. - I proposed

- That would be great but I don't think it just works like that.- one silent tear ran down her cheek.

so how that works ? - I asked gently.

- You get social worker the moment you loose your parent and then you need to accept it. No one can just like that get new one cos they don't like their methods or anything else about them. - at that moment I felt so helpless, I couldn't do anything to help that poor girl.

- Do you think your foster parent would mind if you didn't show up in house for next couple of days ? - I asked full of hope that I could help the teen even a little by keeping her here for little bit.

- I think he wouldn't even notice I was gone. - she thanked out loud.

- okay so you're staying with me for some time, if you don't mind of course.

- Yeah.... I'd like that. - she answered with a little smile coming to her face.

- Do you want to change in more comfortable clothes and then wach a movie in my bedroom ?

- yes - she said shyly.

We walked to my closet to find her some pj to change into.

- Okay this should fit you. - I handed to her shorts and oversize concert hoodie.

she went to her room to get change and do a little skincare before movie.

After long time waiting I decided to go check if she's okay.

- Are you okay ? you're in there a long time. - concern showing in my voice

Kaya's version

shit....shit....shit..... Now I'm making her concern.... I can't do that ..... she just like that let me into her house and I'm doing sh.

I tried stop bleeding from my wrists and get myself together but I was just making more mess. blade was on dresser, blood was all around my hands.

- yeah, I'll be out in a second - I said with unwanted panic in my voice.

Taylor's version

I don't know how but I known she was doing sh. All I wanted to do was to protect her and keep her safe.

The second I step into the room she looked normal. But then I saw puffy eyes from crying and blood running down her hand. I gave her a sad smile.

- Are you okay, truly ? -

- yes

- I can see you're not. That's okay to not be okay. - I said the nicest I could. She looked so fragile, that I was afraid any thing could break her.

- Come here - I putted her in hug.

We stayed like that for some time.

- Can I bangade your wrist ? - she nodded

After I took care of that wound, we went to my room to watch something and maybe talk. we sat in side hug.

- How long are you in your current placement ?

- around 5 years

- Do you want to talk about any trauma or something like that ? It can help.

- okay, so...... I just hate the fact that im trying my best and I will still get B at school my friends hate me, He hates me, like everybody hates me and I don't know what's wrong with me. - she hided her head in my chest

- babe, there's nothing wrong with you. I don't know you for too long and I can already tell that you're a very special girl Kaya. They aren't good enough for you. - I said trying to make her feel better. I brought her closer to me.

- The worse is that he's gonna hit me whenever he has bad day and he has bad day almost every day. - she cried into my hoodie.

- it's okay.....shhh........it's...okay...................you're okay. - I kissed top of her head and sway her.

- Can I sleep with you tonight - teen girl asked after she calmed a little.

- yes of course - I agreed before jawing.

We got under the covers and cuddle up to sleep.

Hi ! 1140 words today !

I don't know how adoption system works so don't come after me if I write something wrong.

Yesterday surprise songs were so good ! I'm proud of Taylor cos she sang song that everybody thinks is someone else's song but Taylor wrote it and I hope she's gonna re record it.

Now when I'm writing this is like 12.45 am

so for me today and for y'all yesterday surprise songs were :

"this is what you came for" x "Gold rush " and "The Great War " x "You're losing me"

goodnight if you read it in night 💗💗💗