Slow and Speedy Win the Fight

100. Television

Trigger Warning: Implied sexual harassment of a minor, talks of trans imposter syndrome

Sheldon

For the first time in forever, I spent most of the day in bed. By the time I properly woke up, it was five in the evening and it was getting dark outside.

I've never slept this late before but I also didn't know what time I went to sleep last night so I decided to just accept the reality and head out of my room for food.

As I approached the kitchen area, I could hear whispers coming from the television from the living room. I grabbed a tub of leftovers from the fridge and a spoon before I approached the source of the noise.

Haresa was sitting on the couch. Even though their eyes were glazed over, their distant stare was transfixed onto the screen.

The whispers became louder and I realized it wasn't whispering but it was a young Haresa on the screen with a pile of envelopes spread out on the table who seemed to be speaking to someone off-screen. The child on the screen couldn't have been younger than eight years old and they seemed to be buzzing with excitement as they looked over the table.

"Are you excited for your first fan mail?" The disembodied voice asked and the young Haresa's head nodded excitedly.

"I haven't seen that costume in a long time," I remarked as I sat next to Haresa on the couch.

They turned their head to me in surprise before their shoulders slumped. "Yeah."

The young Haresa was wearing a bright yellow dress with a white belt that had a belt loop in the shape of a bunny's head. They excitedly opened their first letter and the sound of torn paper made the Haresa beside me to look at the ground.

"I thought I forgot this memory but watching it again now, I clearly remember it," Haresa said with such bitterness that I couldn't help but notice.

"I wasn't allowed to receive fan mail anymore." Haresa's eyes were on the screen and terror was clear on their face. "Not after the first time. I thought other kids would send me letters but—"

There was a commotion on the screen and the letter was quickly snatched away from Haresa. The adults were talking too fast and too muffled to hear what happened on screen. Young Haresa looked uncomfortable and also confused and I looked to the hero beside me.

"I fought monsters, aliens, and villains," Haresa said, "but I couldn't face creepy fan mail."

I shook my head. "It was disturbing fan mail. Not creepy."

The footage ended and the screen was now blue, waiting for one of us to either take out the DVD or to play it again.

"Why are you even watching this?" I asked them.

"I thought it was something else honestly. Once it started playing... I couldn't stop it." They took a shaky breath.

I set aside the food on the coffee table and turned my whole body to face them with crossed legs.

That was when I realized they were crying.

"I always wanted to be a hero but I didn't think it would come with all this other stuff," they sniffled. "Mia thinks I'm running away from my problems by doing hero work but hero work isn't even fun anymore."

Tentatively I reached a hand out to them and they instantly slumped into my chest and I stiffly held them. I wasn't sure if they purposely meant to do that as I felt them go stiff as well but I kept the position as I thought about my own cry session from last night.

I gave them a small pat before I spoke. "You could quit being a hero."

"I can't, I'm under contract until I turn eighteen," they laughed humourlessly. "I don't even know what to do if I'm not doing hero work honestly. I don't even know who I am."