When All Is Said And Done

Chapter Four: Confronting The Past

The next morning, Frida paced her living room, her thoughts a whirlwind of emotions as she considered her upcoming meeting with Benny. She stopped by the window, staring out at the bustling city of Stockholm below but seeing none of it. Her mind was entirely focused on the past and the present, the pros and cons of seeing Benny again in such an intimate setting.

The pros were tantalizing. She might finally get the answers she craved, an understanding of why Benny had betrayed her so deeply. Perhaps she could find closure.

But the cons were daunting. The pain of his betrayal was still raw, a wound that had never fully healed. What if he hadn't changed? What if he hurt her again? The thought of reopening old wounds and facing the possibility of more heartache was almost unbearable.

Görel's voice cut through her thoughts, grounding her. "Still thinking about tonight?"

Görel walked over and sat on the couch, motioning for Frida to join her. "Listen, I get it. Benny hurt you badly, he broke your heart! And you have every right to be cautious. But if you don't go, you'll always wonder 'what if'. Sometimes, facing the past is the only way to truly move forward."

Frida sat down beside her, her shoulders slumping. "But what if he's the same arrogant jerk that he became in the end? I don't think I can put up with that again."

Görel placed a comforting hand on her arm. "Then you'll know, and you can finally put it all behind you. Look, Frida, this isn't just about Benny. It's about you and your peace of mind. You deserve closure, whether it leads to a new beginning or just the end of an old chapter."

Frida nodded, taking a deep breath. "You're right. I need to do this, if only for myself."

The decision made, Frida spent the rest of the day trying to keep her mind occupied, but the anticipation gnawed at her. Finally, as evening approached, she started to get herself ready. She kept her outfit simple, but elegant. A cream, knitted sweater, her favourite pair of jeans and her favourite winter coat were all pulled from her wardrobe before she headed out the door. For a moment, the thought crossed her mind that maybe she should have dressed up a little more. Before the thought could even linger for a second more, she snapped herself out it. She needn't dress up for Benny, she knew that. She didn't owe anything to him and she reminded herself that even in a simple outfit, her class and elegance remained untouched.

Benny's studio was located in a remote part of town, a converted stable house that exuded creativity and charm. Frida walked down the path between the trees, gradually leading towards his studio. Before she knew it she could see the gentle soft lights coming from the studio windows. She even spotted a Christmas tree in the window. She hesitated at the door, her heart pounding in her chest. She raised her hand to knock, but before she could, the door swung open.

"Frida!" Benny greeted her with a warm, familiar smile. "Come in."

She stepped inside, taking in the familiar yet updated surroundings. The studio was filled with musical instruments, sheet music scattered across a grand piano, and a wall adorned with records and accolades. It was a place of passion and talent, a testament to Benny's career, solo and of course with ABBA.

"Thank you" Frida said, trying to keep her voice steady. "You really do have such a lovely studio space here, Benny. You must find it so easy to find peace to write and record here." Frida's eyes darted around the room as she took it all in.

"Well thank you," Benny replied, his smile turning a bit cocky. "I like this place. It's so much better than the studios we had to work with in the ABBA days. This place feels more like my own. I like to think it's a fitting reflection of my work."

Frida's eyes narrowed slightly at his tone. Benny had always had a slightly cocky nature but in the present moment, it didn't feel as charming as it once did. She followed him to a small seating area where they settled into comfortable chairs. Benny offered her a drink, but she declined, wanting to keep her mind clear.

"So," Benny began, leaning back with a casual air, "how have you been?"

Frida was taken aback by his laid back attitude. She took a deep breath, choosing her words carefully. "I've been good. Busy with my career, moving on with my life. When I realised eventually that we wouldn't be doing any further work as ABBA I knew I had to go my own way and build something that was just for me and that's what I've done! I've enjoyed my work. Being so openly creative has been incredible for me. But as I told you last night, seeing you again has brought back a lot of old memories."

Benny nodded, his expression thoughtful. "I get that. It was the same for me. I know I hurt you, Frida, and I'm sorry. I've spent a lot of time reflecting on my mistakes. There hasn't been a single day that's passed by when I haven't thought of you"

Frida felt a surge of frustration at his seemingly blasé attitude. "You think an apology is enough? You betrayed me, Benny. You cheated on me with one of my best friend's sisters. Do you have any idea how much that hurt?"

Benny's confident demeanor faltered, a shadow passing over his face. "I know, and I'm truly sorry. I was young, stupid, and selfish. I thought I could have it all without considering the consequences."

Frida shook her head, her anger bubbling to the surface. "You had it ALL with me, Benny! We were happy! We were in love! Until you ruined everything. And now? What, you think just because you say you're sorry, everything's fine? You think you can waltz back into my life and pick up where we left off?"

Benny leaned forward, his expression earnest. "No, Frida. I don't expect that. I want to make amends, to show you that I've changed. But I can see now that maybe my approach was wrong."

Frida's eyes softened slightly, but the hurt remained. "You can't undo the past, Benny. And your arrogance only makes it harder to believe that you've truly changed."

Benny looked down, a deep sigh escaping his lips. "You're right. I was trying to cover up my nerves. The truth is, I'm scared. Scared that I've lost you forever, and scared that I'll never be able to make things right. I've spent the last ten years in and out of meaningless relationships and I've never felt so lost. There's been so many moments when I wanted to reach out to you... but watching you succeed, watching you move on with your life, it made me realise that you didn't need me anymore. So I've spent all of this time trying to distract myself from a truth that I can't live with in my heart. Losing you was my biggest mistake."

The vulnerability in his voice caught Frida off guard. The way that Benny was speaking reminded her of the Benny she once knew. The kind, gentle natured man she had shared so much happiness with. She paused, took a moment to process his words, the tension between them thick and palpable.

"Benny," she began softly, "I don't know if I can ever fully forgive you. I don't want to hurt you with those words, but that is the truth from my heart. In the time since we went our separate ways, I've changed too. Since us, love found me again but not from any relationship. I learned to love myself. I learned to protect myself. All of those years that we had together... shattered by betrayal. Nobody could have prepared me for that, but now, I feel like I've come to terms with that. You chose to leave me, you made your choice... But I came here tonight because I need complete closure. Only then can we see if there's any chance we can move past it."

Benny met her gaze, his eyes filled with a mixture of regret and hope. "I don't have all the answers, Frida. But I want to try. If you'll let me, I want to show you that I'm not the same person I was back then. Time has changed so much between us and I think, as we sit here now, we're two different men and women in many ways. But if all of this time and seeing you again now has shown me anything... it's that I am still a man who loves you."

With tear filled eyes... Frida looked back up to meet his gaze as she reached out a hand to meet his.