Let me help you || ChanCheol

Eleven

A few moment later

After exchanging their gentle embrace, the two boys finally pulled away from each other slowly, and now they're sitting on the living-room sofa, the older one nursing the younger, and it's also how he noticed with amazement that the black-haired boy had never really nursed his old wounds, to his great sadness.

Gently, he starts with the black-haired man's arms, pulling up the sleeves of his shirt, then he has to do the whole body, so he timidly asks his younger to take off his top so that he can heal his body better, Chan blinks and his cheekbones turn red, then finally he complies with his elder request, gently reaching for his shirt with his fingertips and pulling it off with a grunt of pain.

Seungcheol is shocked by the sight in front of him, using his slender fingertips to gently caress his younger back to test his sensitivity and avoid hurting him when he rubs the cream over the wounds.

Strangely, the youngest didn't react at all. In fact, he's fighting with his inner feelings to convince himself that Seungcheol is just a friend or maybe a older brother and nothing more, and even though he's trying to make himself say it, his brain is sending him several signals that indicate by A plus B that he really don't feels only friendship towards the blond.

The blond doesn't quite realize the effect he's having on his younger at the moment, because as far as he's concerned, he's just doing his job, applying cream to the black-haired man's wounds so that he suffers less and heals faster, with no ulterior motive in the gentleness of his gestures.

" I've finished your back and shoulders, now turn to me and I'll do your belly and mouth." Said the elder gently.

[ Choi fucking Seungcheol you really have no idea of the effect you're having on me ? ] This is clearly the phrase drumming in the younger man's mind, but he says nothing, just listens to his elder and turns towards him, his eyes not daring to meet the blond's so he fixes his gaze on the screen of his switched-off TV.

Then a shiver runs through him, then two, then three, every time Seungcheol runs his hands over his chest, the younger man feels things he shouldn't even be feeling, but he can't help it, his heart and his brain are at odds, and strangely enough it's more often his heart that wins out over his reason.

" Show me your mouth, it's pretty banged up too. "

Slowly, the youngest turns his head towards his eldest, and it's only then that their gazes catch. Seungcheol smiles softly at his youngest, and Chan's heart is just about to go on a thrill ride in his ribcage, but he has to calm his impulses.

So he simply sighs and lets his eldest approach him, gently the blond's little finger comes to meet the black-haired man's lower lip and this action is too much for the youngest, he briskly pushes his eldest away and as if no pain existed he flees to the bathroom.

> POV Chan

What was I thinking, why did I fucking run away like that ? He's really going to think I'm crazy, I'm usually not very normal but this is even worse than usual, I clearly wanted to put my lips on his, it's too much ! I'm really going to have to come to my senses because it's just not possible anymore, it's impossible for him to feel what I feel for him, I've got to stop thinking that our relationship is going to go beyond friendship, it's just surreal. 

To calm down I decide to send a message to my best friend, he'll brag that he was right but it doesn't matter, I need him in this shitty situation.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

< Portable Chan chat with A dude >

Moi

Ay-yo ! Yeo' I was about to kiss Seungcheol hyung it's not a joke. 

A dude

Let's put everything down and start again is it supposed to be surprising ?

Me

I'm fucking sick of it, why it's so complicated like this ! I can't love him !

A dude

You can't ? Are you sure about that ? Or you just don't want that's the real question.

Me

If I accept the fact that I havr feelings for him, it's going to ruin our friendship

A dude

You know the song with the sentence :

I wanna ruin our friendship, we should be lovers instead ~ 

Me

But I'm not gonna tell him that, it's weird.

A dude

Come on. Besides, it's all very well for you to stop being in denial, but what does he think about all this ?

Me

If only I knew, I'd tell you

A dude

You know, there's only one way to find out if your feelings are mutual.

Me

I'm going to get the wind of the century it'll be so violent I'll feel like a windmill. 

A dude

Oh do it in front of me then I want to be there to film it!

Me

Go ahead, you prick

A dude

So a "prick" is a human being filled with idiocy, in other words it fits you much better than me, cordially, find a better insult and fuck off.

Me

Sorry Yeo' 🫶

I'm going back with Seungcheol and I'll say it all again tomorrow

A dude

Aish stop with your heart all broken, I told you !

Oh you're with him ? Tomorrow I want all the details down, wide, across.

Me

Yeah ofc Yeo'.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

( Note : the upstairs bathroom is connected to Chan's room by a door )

Talking to my friend has relaxed me, but now I have to face reality, and that reality is Choi Seungcheol.

Wish me luck, I might die tonight because the fear and shame will have been too much, but now's not the time to get dramatic, so I pull down my door cuff and step out of my bathroom, and that's when I see Seungcheol sitting on my bed, waiting for me. 

Fucking shit.