the new and innovative dang it grandpa book

i feel like i'm drugs rn

imagine me and you as best friends. every weekend we go out with each other to the outlet mall in our town, find a new place to eat and then take a look around for a few hours. it's our way of seeing each other regularly, since we don't have much time to do so on weekdays, considering our schoolwork and jobs.

it's a beautiful june day, pretty close to my birthday time in fact!! the sky is bright blue, stray clouds streaking across its surface like they'd been painted across the heavens by some divine, powerful artist (angie ref?).

you meet me in the parking lot by the left entrance. i'm standing there, waiting for you, in a light yellow skirt, white t-shirt, and my signature burgundy/black jacket (the one that can flip inside out) (also don't ask why i'm wearing it during summer cause idk either). my hair is down, but it has several clips adorning it. i wave and smile. "hey there, y/n! it's been a while!!"

"it's only been a week," you say, rolling your eyes.

"YOU'VE only been a week." i cross my arms and turn indignantly.

"sunny, that makes absolutely zero sense..."

"YOU make absolutely zero sense."

"what does that even mean..." you ask.

"i dunno," i shrug.

"let's...just get going." you begin to walk.

"for surezies!" i start walking forwards as well. "there's a nice café that i don't think we've ever been to here! i don't remember the name but you can get, like...cool food there...hahah, food? like what teruteru makes? can't believe i just made a danganronpa reference!" i continue to ramble on incoherently about some game with this 6'2 dude who likes humanity a lot...what a freak!

i turn a corner abruptly after a while of us walking through the outlet mall. i almost bump into some dude, and you have to apologize to him for me cause i've already walked off by the time i even notice it.

"c'moooonnnn!!" i whine to you, turning around. you're still busy trying to make sure that this rando who i just collided with doesn't hunt my family down.

eventually you get away from that guy. "what a buzzkill!" i say to you as you catch up.

"...you were the one to bump into him!"

"yeah but like he didn't need to be such a total loserface about it! bro's acting like i ryoma hoshi'd his mafia like jeez what the gosh is his problem..."

"none of those words are in the bible," you say, staring off into space.

"okay okay let's go go go go!!" i grab onto your hand and dash off, but i end up looking like a mouse attempting to dislodge a whole boulder cause if i'm one thing i'm a weakling...

eventually, we make it to the café. it's charming, with big windows that let all the sunlight in, and potted plants decorating the area around. we walk inside, the bell on the door producing a little chime as the two of us enter. we go up to the front and decide what to order. after i've selected what i want (an iced coffee and probably like a slice of carrot cake or something), i hand you ten dollars and dash off, saying nothing more than, "i'm finding a seat!" and then a quiet "woo! record time!!" as i slide into one of those nice little wicker chairs.

you eventually come back with our food and drinks. "you know it would've been nice of you to help me carry these..."

"but y/n! i'm on that sigma grind! i can't stop to rizz the gyatts, you catch my drift? i've gotta stay skibidi, can't lose my mewing streak! bye bye 🤫🧏!"

"what benefits do i receive from this friendship again?"

"absolutely zero!" i shoot you some finger guns, clicking my tongue.