Revelations of the Heart

CHAPTER 5

It has been a long day, and now I'm lying on my bed, reflecting on everything that has happened. Father lost his job and didn't even tell anyone about it. Mother has made up her mind about me marrying Kunal, convinced our family will be ruined if I don't go through with it. Too much has happened today. I just want to sleep now; I'm utterly exhausted. Maybe I'll talk to Dad after I wake up. But even in my fatigue, I cannot find sleep. Kunal's words keep echoing in my mind.

I cannot let anything bad happen to this family. Driven by a restless energy, I got up and started walking. Walking always helps me release my stress. As I pace, I think about my situation. Dad must have had his reasons for hiding the truth about his job. My dad has never let me down; if he decides something, it usually works out. I do not know how he got this one wrong.

I kept walking until I made a decision. I'm going to marry him on Sunday. Today is Monday, and if I say "yes," our engagement will be tomorrow. So, I will say "yes" for everyone's happiness. I will marry him only to make his life as miserable as he has made mine. I will make his life hell. I have decided.

I lay down on the bed again, waiting for him to call me.

I heard my phone ring when I was half-asleep; it was an unknown number. I knew it was him, so I immediately picked it up and said, "Let's get married." There was no reply from the other side for a few seconds, but then he responded, "I knew that you wouldn't disappoint me." His voice felt strange; it didn't have that mocking tone. It felt like he wasn't happy... Yes... He was sad. But why? I was curious. We both remained silent, waiting for one of us to end the call, and it wasn't going to be him, I guessed... Because if he wanted to, he would have done it long before. So, I cut the call.

TOMORROW IS MY ENGAGEMENT.

*ENGAGEMENT DAY*

Dad and I had a conversation about his job, the one he lost and didn't tell anyone about. Dad was shocked when I asked him about it, but our conversation made me realise how fortunate I am to have a father who never wants to burden his children with any kind of trouble. Mother knew about it, but he didn't want Ruhi and me to be bothered. He didn't want to put me under any pressure. Everyone in the family believes that once I marry Kunal, everything will be fine. I have also started to believe that.

Right now, we are in the car, heading to the engagement venue. We're almost there. The venue is a grand mansion, far from both his home and mine. Kunal's family is waiting for us. I saw his Didi smiling at me, and I smiled back. His mother appears quite cold, and his father looks like one of those rich businessmen from the movies. They all had a joyful, lovely meeting, which doesn’t seem very joyful to me because something is definitely off with Kunal's family. I don’t see Kunal anywhere.

We all went inside after some time. The decoration theme was light pink just like my lehanga. I sat on the bride's desk watching the view and suddenly saw Kunal approaching to sit beside me. For some reason, I couldn't meet his gaze today; things have changed since our last meeting. He doesn't look happy, and neither am I. Then why are we even going through with this wedding?

I was lost in my thoughts during the entire ceremony, not realizing that Kunal and I were now engaged and he was my fiancé. He had put a diamond ring on my finger symbolising his superiority.
Everyone started congratulating each other on this new union. They were all happy. Kunal's mother approached me for a talk. "I'm so glad Kunal is marrying you. You are the type of girl I always wanted for him, someone who can run this family and household after me," she said, taking me aback. "You know what, Ankita," she continued, holding my hand, "I know he's a bit difficult, but you can fix that. I have faith in you. You just have to endure his anger for a few days and keep your calm." My heart ached, and I felt numb, but she kept talking. "I hate this generation for not being serious about relationships, especially women. All they worry about is money, clothes, makeup, and parties. But you are different. Ruby told me everything about you. This time, Kunal definitely chose the right girl. I'm surprised."

Someone called her from afar, so she had to leave, but I was flabbergasted by her opinions about me. In short, she wants a housewife for her son who can babysit and "fix him." If I don't take a step today, I will never forgive myself. And I really do not understand why everyone says that Kunal wants to marry me and I'm the girl he likes when he barely treat me in a good manner and always try to hurt me with his words? I have to ask him this but I know he would not answer. I have no one to answer my question, no one to help me and if I marry this guy, I would have no one to love me. I went upstairs, avoiding everyone. This mansion is so large that I couldn't even find a safe place to think about my life. I ran and entered the first unlocked room I found and shut the door. I sat on the floor by the door and looked around, seeing a storeroom in front of me with a large window. My mind wandered as I gazed at the window. I was at the weakest point of my life and jumping from the window looked like the only escape for me. I stood on the sill, my legs trembling, and looked down to see the garden. The window was undoubtedly high enough, but I had to be brave to follow through. A few tears escaped my eyes as I closed them, contemplating my leap. If it didn't work, I would be the most miserable person on earth with numerous broken bones. I couldn't muster the courage and opened my eyes, quietly sitting on the window ledge. I removed my footwear and threw them down to see what would happen if something fall from here. They disappeared from view, heightening my fear. I would also disappear from this world like that footwear. I sobbed.

As I started sobbing, my eyes caught something written on the wall beside the window. Moving closer, I read, "Not today, not todayyyy, Not Todayyyy, NOT TODAY! DO YOU HEAR ME?" The text evolved from a request to a prayer, to a command, and finally, a demand. But who wrote this? I guess someone who also faced their weakest moment of life in this room, but at that moment it felt like those words are for me, someone is telling me to not do it today. Not die today. The words made me realize how foolish I was to use my bravery for such a cowardly purpose. If I needed bravery, it should be to fight. I was surprised at my approach to a minor problem, I'm not this weak, why did suicide even crossed my mind? I climbed down from the window, curious to know who wrote that message, because that person literally saved me today. I wanted to know who wanted me to live. I wiped my tears, and the door opened—ohh! I had never locked it. Kunal entered the room, surprised to see me.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

"Celebrating my bad luck. Want to join, Mr. Mangetar?" I replied. He raised his eyebrows slightly and crossed his arms, stepping forward to stand in front of me.

"Ankita, I don't want to argue with you today, so leave this room and don't show me your face for the rest of the day," he said, raising his voice.

I couldn't let this slide, and I was about to shout back at him when Ruhi entered the room to take me downstairs. I gave him a look, conveying my disdain for his arrogant behavior.