Vodka Lemonade

swayed by the void

He lights up his cigarette, taking the first drag “fuck it, right, sir?”
I lit one myself, one he had offered me. “I suppose so.” I’d say we both stared into the darkness, seeing almost nothing. I look at the guy who sat beside me, only a silhouette could make out of him in this ill-lit area. We sat on a cliff. I went back to stare blankly into a void, soullessly, he did too. And it somehow saddened me.
“So, what’s with you, sir?”
“I just like it here,” I said. “And what’s with you?”
Maybe he was quick or maybe he didn’t want to answer, regardless of the reason, he skipped my question. “How old are you” he asked.
“30” I flick the cigarette off the cliff. He’d offer once more, in which I noticed he hadn’t finished his first one. Hadn’t even taken another puff. He doesn’t smoke, that’s what I’d guess. He leaned in to light the cigar, which now I had in my mouth. And for a very brief moment, the flame revealed a boyish face, dark and worn out. “What about you?”
“21”
I nodded in reply. I didn’t care much for it. I was smoking with a kid on an edge of a cliff. Nothing I had planned. I had woken up this morning, something I hadn’t planned. And I woke up almost disappointed of the new day. And I laid on my bed, envisioning my day, till I got bored of my thoughts. I continued the rest of my sleep in the bath. An hour later my skin crawled and I was already running late, but I don’t care much for it. My office smelled of earth, which I suppose was caused by the previous night’s rain. I kissed the girl goodbye whose desk was placed in front of the one that used to be mine. She wore pastels and fur trims, which I hated but they looked fancy on her, I kissed her cause I fancied her, cause only moments back I had quit. And I planned to continue quitting till it felt good again. But the universe hadn’t taken my plan into consideration. And before I could stand on a cliff and silently sob, I was offered a cigarette, a talk.
“And what brings you to the cliff?” I asked again. I looked down deep to the cliff where we hung our legs off. You wouldn’t see anything, you wouldn’t hear anything. There’s only an ominous idea of whatever’s down there, it’ll lead you to death, something both assuring and menacing. “most folks don’t come here. There’s not much to see unless you’re gonna do-“ I gesture to the edge, not knowing if he could see me, but one will get an idea simply by the way I had said it. And he did understand.
“Father’s mad. I can’t go home” he replied. “not so soon”
“How come your old man’s mad? You got in a fight? Or did he catch you drinking his booze” I might’ve tried to get a laugh out of him. And it might’ve been the wrong situation but he did let out a decent laugh.
“He’s always mad, no matter what I do”
“Ah, I see. Always angry for no reason, eh?” there was a flood of memories which came from nowhere. They seemed strange and were unrecognized. I added: “My father was too. You can never please these kinds.”
“Ain’t that right”
“What’s his gripe this time?” I asked.
“I don’t know, my tutor complained. I’m damn sure of it” he cried out in, what I could guess, disdain. He sighs and moves and dances his cigarette around his fingers. I’d now know, he didn’t smoked.
“How so?” I didn’t intended to talk much, I’d rather have him talk. Even if he hadn’t said much, I shamelessly enjoyed him talking. I was charmed, almost.
“That bastard hates me” he kept sounding more and more boyish.
“Your old man hired you a tutor? What happened to state run school?”
“I do private school. They always give you shit about taking tuition”
My mum always thought she was right about whatever she assumed of people. I am that too. He interested me and I assumed, or worse fantasized, about what he was. He was a boy, younger than he claims. He was loaded. He didn’t smoked. He was a good kid, who tried to rebel. And he wouldn’t hide it. Or perhaps, he couldn’t. It didn’t mattered. If I’m invited to a game, I play along with it. Truth will be what he tells me.
“I see, you must be pretty well off” it didn’t mattered to me so I said it like it didn’t mattered to me. “You got any idea, what his bone to pick is? I wouldn’t guess it’s over grades, is it?”
“Like hell I’d know. He thinks I’m disrespectful or something”
“Disrespectful, eh?” I was interested, for this instance- I really was “Just rude in general, not paying attention in class or what?”
“I don’t know, mister. I got no damn clue-“ he sighed. “Whatever it is. He’s a pain in the ass that’s all I know”
I nodded, what else could’ve I done to comfort his displeasure.
I finished my cigarette and tried looking over to his intending ask for on more. The absolute darkness by the cliff suddenly felt to be more mesmerising than before. "Tell me about this tutor. He's a pain in the ass that's all I've gather"
"leave it, man" said neatly, without any haste. "tell me and You" and that had made me chuckle a little. "what're ya doing here? bad break up or anything?"
"Me?" the question itself did caught me unprepared, so I gave it a decent thought "no woman waiting for me back home, no children, no parents. It's just me. It has always been just beem since my 13"
"13!?" explains and follows "what had happened?" with no courtesy of 'if ya don't mind'.