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I woke up in her arms still. I really felt bad because she had every right to despise me but instead she stayed and I felt really guilty
"Stop thinking so loud" she said making me roll my eyes , she flutter her eyes open and stared at me "what now raji?" I shook my head "nothing I just— nothing im going to make breakfast" she mumbled something and tossed to the other side while I got up
I did my hygiene routine before I went to cook , I actually had no idea what I wanted but it came down to shrimp and grits with bacon bits or something else
I don't know why I questioned it I wanted shrimp and grits! I laughed to myself and opened the refrigerator door , and started my long breakfast process
I had to have music or I wasn't going to do anything. I played haunted by Beyoncé , I put the grits in my pot and started swaying my hips as I stir for a while, I put butter and a little bit of salt in the grits then grabbed my shrimp out the freezer put them in hot water because they definitely was frozen
"All the shit I do is boring" I started singing along as I stirred my grits a little bit longer , I realized fantasia might want waffles she hates pancakes some shit about it being boring and no crunch
I took out my waffle maker and grabbed my batter i usually make from scratch but today is one of them days
"It's where we go , it's where we'll be . I know if I'm on to you , I'm on to you" I loved her voice she definitely had vocals
I stirred the waffle batter in the bowl when I felt cold hands on my waist where my shirt failed to cover I didn't even flinch I knew it was fantasia by her scent "you making me waffles?" I heard the excitement in her voice i chuckled and leaned over a little bit
"Yes im making you waffles I know you hate pancakes" she laughed I turned around and she leaned against the counter "your still mad?" I asked whining a little bit "kinda of.. it took you months to hear me out and even then you still didn't really hear me"
"What you mean I did fantasia." She shook her head "then why did completely ignored the fact I said I wanted to marry you" I turned my back to her stirring the batter , I sighed "fantasia.." - "don't say anything— you don't believe me huh?" I turned to her and she chuckled and sat at the island
"It's not that I don't but— if that was the case why didn't my sister tell me when I told her we broke up?" She put her head down before she picked her head up "I made her sign a NDA because she can't keep a secret for shit" I just wanted to stop all this shit
"You really didn't believe... well you really don't believe me, just make my plate please before I leave" she got up and went upstairs I felt bad
I finished cooking and made her a to go plate , I was cleaning when she came downstairs "fan-" she put her head down like she didn't want to hear it so I stopped talking
"Thanks." She grabbed her plate and turned to leave I couldn't let her my heart psychically broke , I ran in front of her "wait- p-please don't go. I know your mad and I understand just... don't leave me in this house alone please tasia" she didn't look into my eyes knowing damn well what it'll do to her
She looked at the painting before taking a deep breath "why should I Taraji? You given me every sign to leave you alone. You don't love me , you don't believe me so why the hell should I stay some place where I'm unwanted?"
"Because I can't function fantasia! Everything reminds me of you! EVERYTHING— it eats me alive every day I didn't hear your side of the story but it was easier. I know that awful and I'll be forever working to get you back but Fantasia just don't leave me. Im asking you not to leave okay? That means your wanted so don't leave" she was really debating
"Fine" she put her stuff down and I smiled in relief
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I was conflicted with my feelings, im hurt that she doesn't believe me , I've never given her a reason to doubt me. "Can we watch a movie?" She asked with her plate of food, that's just another way off saying she's sorry
I nodded and sat on the couch, she sat on the far right of me . She knew better than to sit next to me . "Fantasia?" I hummed "im sorry— I- I know I was wrong and I still didn't give you a c-chance, I-im sorry" she started weeping and I held her to my chest "Taraji please don't cry , you know I hate it when you cry"
"I-im sorry but the guilt is eating me away! I-I shouldve , I-I could've, I-I-I-I-l she was hyperventilating "baby?" I kissed her forehead and lifted her face to me "breathe, please you'll give yourself a panic attack"
She started breathing slower , i placed my legs on the couch and laid her on top of me , I rubbed her back in slow circles singing in her ear for a while
"you okay now?" - "ye-yes" she said sniffling, I can tell she felt really bad about it but it's already done we just need to focus on the future not the past
