Beautiful Sorrows | LN4

3

24 minutes. That was the time left before my new song was being released on every platform. No matter how hard I tried, I wasn't able to stop my right leg from shaking nervously. Neither my brain nor my body wanted to simply get up and do something. My eyes were glued on the clock that suddenly decided to tick slower.

I knew for a fact that my team was holding back from sending me a message or calling me. I was always physically so off before a release, I would rather stay by myself.

It has been more than five months since my last official appearance in London, maybe it was enough for people to disconnect with my music and forget about me ?

I hit my cheeks with both of my hands, closing my eyes. "Get your shit together Daisy, what are you even thinking ?"

Deep inhale.

Midnight.

Exhale. An instant relief took over my soul. The drum in my chest was finally slowing down.

As soon as I turned off the telephone alarm, I felt the consequences of the three ridiculous hours of sleep I had. How come waking up at 6 AM was still a thing ? Scheduling a 8 AM meeting should be banished.

"Congratulations on your release Daisy !" The interviewer started and I gently bowed my head as a thanks. "This one is for sure a more personal one, isn't it ?"

"I think it is, yes. Lyrics kept changing here and there even after the recording, I definitely felt unsure multiple times during the process."

"And you ended up making all the right choices ! When you say 'It doesn't matter whether you fake it or not, just get me out of it'; are you referring to a form of escape, anyhow ?"

I must say I was pleasantly surprised that he actually listened to the song.

"Correct. You know, sometimes, you encounter people at such a coincidental moment in your life. You are willing to accept any help that comes to you." I paused for a couple of seconds. "Overtime, I learned that not everyone is here to be good to you and you can not be a bad person for wanting to free yourself from a toxic situation."

"I can imagine how deliberating you must feel afterwards."

"I thought it was embarrassing at first. Writing songs about it made me feel very vulnerable at some point. It's actually therapeutic and sharing it is taking one step ahead for me."

"And the music video is.. bloody ! Are you directing your own work ?"

"I usually sit with the artistic direction staff and give them my props and how I see things. It's been a while since we started working together, it kind of clicks quickly now. I love being involved in everything around my work and I am very grateful to have such freedom when it comes to creating things."

I was casually sitting on Julia's hotel room couch, lazily scrolling on my phone. She seemed more than focused for a Monday evening. She hasn't gotten up once from her desk in two hours, typing with fierceness on her keyboard.

"What are you working so hard on ? Your eyebrows have been frowned since last year." I asked.

"Hm.." She mumbled without a glance at me.

She closed her laptop after a few seconds.

"Okay. I have bad and good news. Which one-"

"Good news first." I said without hesitation. At least I could enjoy the good one for a moment without knowing the bad one.