The Line of Lives: Episodic Curse

Chapter 15

Chapter 15

- December 2, 1991-

I just stared outside my window apathetically, not moving from my desk or making any effort to respond to anything that is happening. It's been the same way for the past 3 years. Ever since my father's death at the Lockerbie crash, I wasn't myself. I loved my dad. He was the best dad anyone can ask for. We'd have fun together playing games, going out to eat, telling stories and being there for each other. When I'd mess up, he'd help get back on track. When I was down, he'd cheer me up. He was there for me.

Now, he no longer is. Every day, I'd wake up, expecting that night to be a nightmare, only to come to reality, to never see his face again, to never hear his voice again, to never feel his love again.

Why?

Why did it have to be this way?

And now, I can only take solace in who I have left. I still have my friends and family so I should be thankful for that. Angelo and I spend a lot of time together since we at least have each other after our dad's died and I try to spend time with my mom and sister. Cassandra is growing up and is halfway through kindergarten. She's a very happy kid. It pained me so much to hear her ask, "Where is daddy?"

Mom, although she tried to hide it, was devastated from what I can tell from Dad's death. I can hear her crying sometimes at night. At the funeral, I remember her breaking down completely along with my aunt. My grandma was comforting them along with my grandpa's girlfriend at the time. They both really liked him. 

Recently though, she started to seem happier and started to spend more time by herself. She's going out at night and asking me to watch Cassandra. She pays me every time so I can't complain, not that I'm complaining. In all honesty, I'm glad that she's happy again, even though it's hard to do so these days. When she went out this time, she said she was going to show me something. She seemed excited but also kind of unsure at the same time. I don't know what's itching at her. 

Maybe it's still worry about the Crown Heights riots a few months ago. That got everyone in the city shook. Mom was considering not letting us go to school

Now, I'm just home, 'watching' Cassandra until mom gets back with whatever she wants to show me, but it's kind of hard to me to focus at this point. At least I'm not completely irresponsible. I have enough skills to make some pot Mac N Cheese. I played with Cassandra a bit and watched some TV before setting her to bed. Now, I'm up alone.

Suddenly, I heard the lock jiggling and my mom calling me to the front. I just came out of my room before my mom came in.

"Hey Sweetie. I'm home." She came in and hugged me.

"Hey ma."

"How is everything?"

"Everything's alright."

"Good. Now, remember what I wanted to show you when I got home."

"Yeah."

"Well, come with me."

She leads me out the front door and into the hallway where I come across a man standing there. He looks around my mom's age and is in a really nice get up. That's when it came to me.

She's dating someone now.

"Markus. I want you to meet Jack. He- He's someone I've been seeing recently."

"Hello Markus. Nice to meet you." He said as he held his hand out to me.

All I can do is stand there blankly. I was in silent shock and to be frank, a bit outraged. Here I am, still aching after what happened to dad like it just happened, even after all this time. Some people even telling me to just move on or get over it, it already happened, there's nothing that we could do, you're only hurting yourself, let it go, stop making excuses, etc. Every single line is making my blood boil, and I only went away or told them to screw off. You can't just 'move on' from this. This is something that sticks with you for a very long time. They wouldn't like it if I told them to move on from their loved one's death.

But now, I can't do anything about. It's now being forced on me. I've haven't even had any time to prepare for this. Thanks a lot mom. Why hasn't anyone had any consideration for me and my feelings, even my own family

"Markus?"

A voice snapped me out of my inner rant to Jack still having his hand out with an uneasy expression and mom with apparent worry.

"Hello." I responded back as I halfheartedly shook his hand.

"Nice to meet you." He replied back.

"Your mother told me about you."

"Has she?"

"She told me about how cool and smart you were/."

"Well, has she told you that I'm not interested in a replacement father?"

He looked a bit nervous and was about to say something, but I quickly turned back and headed inside towards my room. My mom followed after me but was too late as I shut the door.

"Mark. Mark, come of out of there."

"I'm not coming out."

"I'm sorry I-"

"You didn't tell me about this!"

"Look, I just wanted to surprise you."

"This isn't surprising. Suprises are still wanted; this is you thrusting shit onto me!"

"I was trying to help you."

"How the fuck is this helping me?!"

"First off, language...."

"I don't give a damn!"

"Second, I was trying to help you cope." She sighs.

"I know your father's death was hard for you. You were 8 and I couldn't see you sad, so I went out. I thought I could maybe find someone who was like you dad, someone who could maybe fill the hole in your heart."

"So, you're trying to replace dad?"

"No, I-"

"You, among everyone else, are basically telling me to move on. Already I got people saying I should be past this. Now, you're jumping on that bandwagon by inviting that asshole here!"

"Please Mar-"

"I don't wanna hear it!"

"Just hold up!"

I went up and kicked the door as hard as I can, managing to crack it just a little. She managed to shut up and back off, hopefully she got the message.

"Leave me alone and get that bastard out of here."

I heard her footsteps vanish as she probably went to talk to the new guy.

What the hell is with her? She didn't communicate this with me. She's right to do her own thing, but she didn't take into consideration how I would feel about this, how this would affect me and all of us. 'Trying to fill the hole in my heart?', she's just tearing up what's left. Apparently, I can't take solace in her, she has her own agenda. I can't trust her; she'll hide things from me. We were supposed to be family, but I guess not.

And Jack, do yourself a favor and get out. I don't want you here.