Obsessive

09

Molly

I watch through the front window as his car drives off. Sighing, I feel my body relax. Being around him has so much tension. It's like my body coils up like a spring.

My mom isn't home and she won't be for hours. Lately, she's been staying out later and later. I figure it's because of work but surely real estate agents don't work until 10pm these days.

Heading up to my room, I try not to think about the past hour. I was walking home from school and decided I would stop by at the book store. I didn't realize that stalker guy would be following me around. Oh, but he didn't claim that the interaction was purely accidental and somehow... I believe him.

As soon as I open my door, a whiff of flowers hits my nose. Immediately, I spot the flowers on my bed. It's a big bouquet of all sorts of flowers and colors. For a moment, my chest feels warm with happiness. But then it sinks, knowing this came from someone who is stalking me.

I notice an envelope. This is new. Dropping my backpack and new book next to and on my nightstand, I pick up the envelope.

Molly,

I want you to know about me. I'm not going to ask you to try and understand. But I am asking you to consider looking past the superficiality in our relationship.

I've never stalked a woman before. You are my first. I think that's pretty special but I would also think that this is normal, so what do I know.

You fascinate me beyond comprehension. And that's saying something because you are the epitome of fascination.

I was born in Seattle. My mother was beaten by my father. This went on for years until she finally killed him. We moved into a small town and she taught me everything I know.

She died a few years ago. I was moving around until I found this place. The perfect small town that needed History. So I stayed. And I'm so very glad that I did.

It just amazes me how you don't know your worth. People like Xavier use you because he doesn't understand that you deserve to be worshipped. If you ever let me Molly, I will worship you until my last breath.

I've never believed in love or marriage or soulmates. My parents are the cause of that. But the moment I saw you, I saw light. The light at the end of my dark tunnel. I'm ready for you. I'm ready to be whatever you need.

Forever Yours, Zane

I set the letter down, swallowing harshly. Feelings sit heavily on my chest. It's all too much. Standing, I begin to pace. I feel uncertain about all of this.

My stalker... he's treating me better than most of my friends. But could it all be a con? What if he's the killer and he's just trying to lure me into the ultimate kill. Is that what he wants? To watch me give myself wholeheartedly to him so he can take that love and kill it?

Suddenly sick, I bolt to the bathroom. I purge up my lunch twice before feeling better. I flush the toilet and sigh heavily. My thoughts drift back to Zane.

It's obvious that he's older. I'm only seventeen... But is age really going to matter in a few years? He has made it clear that he's willing to wait for me until I'm ready.

"What am I thinking?" I ask aloud, running my hands through my hair. I'm being delusional.

My stupid heart is only thinking about how I enjoy his attention and adoration. Especially because I don't get much of it from either of my parents. He's kind and even though a little dark... he has a nice smile and honest maturity.

Standing up from the bathroom floor, I turn to wash my face in the sink. Avoiding my gaze, I brush my teeth.

I think about Xavier. He does use me. He thinks that one day I'll crack and let him have sex with me. That thought makes me sick again. I use Xavier for a sense of normalcy in my life. Without him, peers at school would assume I'm gay or a virgin and imagine the horror of that.

I roll my eyes, annoyed at myself. I don't like Xavier. And I want to ditch him and be alone. The reason I still see him is to keep up the image that I am like the others.

Other girls aren't afraid of sex. Other girls aren't searching for something more. Other girls aren't afraid that they won't ever be loved.

Finally, my eyes flick up to the mirror. I stare at myself, leaning on the counter. My blonde hair flows down my arms and my eyes are bloodshot from the day.

If I could, I'd run away. I just want to be old enough to be seen as a person. Not some teenager. Could Zane be offering me that? And if he is, is that something I'd like to indulge with him?

I sigh, turning and flicking off the bathroom light. Then I leave the bathroom and head to my bedroom.

Tomorrow is another day.

~

I've noticed his car in the parking lot. I didn't know it was his until yesterday when he drive me home in it. But I didn't remember seeing that car before and wondered what it was doing at the school.

As we're sitting outside for lunch, I stare at the car. I can see a dark figure in the vehicle. I'm guessing that it's him.

Suddenly, an arm slings over my shoulder and Xavier leans into me. I feel irritated instantly and push him away. He stares at me with a shocked and annoyed expression.

"What's wrong?" He asks. The lunch bell rings and we all start packing up. I stand and begin my walk to the building, leaving him without an answer. "Molls!" He shouts, stomping after me. I roll my eyes and turn around, facing him.

"Don't call me that." I say for what feels like the millionth time. Xavier rolls his eyes this time. "Okay then Molly. What's the matter?" He asks.

I stare into his eyes, feeling something rising inside me. I'm going to snap. But then a sense of relief and relaxation wash over me like a blanket.

"Xavier," I say calmly. "I'm breaking up with you. I'm done with his relationship."

His mouth is open wide and anger flashes across his face. "Molly." He growls, grabbing my arm harshly. "Ow!" I hiss, yanking my arm away. "I don't know whats going on but I think you should rethink this." Xavier says, searching my eyes.

I step back, suddenly enraged. "Don't touch me. I said what I said. I'm breaking up with you. Goodbye Xavier." I snap.

Quickly, I walk to my next class, feeling relieved and also lighter.