Define Love||KhaoFirst

11- Broken souls

First is helping his father move groceries to the kitchen. They haven't spoken ever since the day he denied all sorts of responsibilities he held as a father. He looks at his father eyes weary. All he ever wanted was to be loved, was that too much to ask?

(First POV)

And then again I understand him. Why would any parent want a child like me? Why on earth did i even expect anything being such a failure. I gulp down remembering his harsh tone and cold eyes screaming words at me. It hurted me more than those what came from his mouth ever did, the words were so loud it is still ringing in my ears. Forget about him loving me, if he ever looked at me with the eyes he looked at khao with. For his eyes to soften its gaze and share, care and love. Oh, it is such a blessing to be loved by someone. My heads aching again, only if I could be loved? only if I wasn't weak at my studies, only if I wasnt weak at expressing my emotions, only if I behaved life a normal teenager, only if I had a fucking normal life.

Bloody hell, he holds himself as the weight on his shoulders seemed all so sudden heavier. fuck. The words stuck inside him trying to escape out but he stops them, his chest tightens. His vision blurry, tears reminding him of his weak self. He moves away from the kitchen avoiding the maid who asked him to do something. His feet cold as he barely makes it to his bike. His fingers stubborn as if owning its own mind. He can hear his father yelling at him. It just makes him so much more vulnerable than he already is. He hugs himself in a dissapointing attempt to calm himself. His breathing getting more weak as time passes, shit he can't pass out. He starts the bike being very well aware that he can get himself into trouble, knowing very well that he can disturb another persons life. He speeds as the road gets empty, he accelerates at the fullest till he can't her anything but the wind gushing through his ears. What sort of punishment is this good heavens. His sight blurry as tears gush down. Fuck. Fuck. He races as fast as he can expecting to calm his panic attack as much as he can. He shouldn't drive while in this state. but what can he even do when all his peace lies in this very moment? The evening setting in, he thinks "The sunset is beautiful isnt it?" smiling.

He picks up his phone as it rings abruptly, pulling him out of his thoughts. He has calmed down, so he decides to pick up the phone and to avoid any sort of punishment.
"Khao?"
"Feeling better?"
"Mhm. How did you-"He checks his rear view mirror to see Khao waving his hands, catching up with his pace swiftly on his car.
"I saw you from afar as I was returning home from the resort. I could tell it was you as soon as i saw you."
"Mhm."

Khao blocks him with his car and walks out it. Firsts grip on his vehicle weakens as he walks closer. His steps igniting fear deep down him. He closes his eyes as Khao takes his helmet off. He kisses his eyes, moving his fingers along his cheek, trying to wipe away his tears that didn't seem to stop flowing.

"First baby, you gotta stop crying. At this rate you're gonna end up sick you punk." He says carefully, patting his head.
"I ca-n't, I re-ally can't-" He looks at him dead in the eyes as tears slide down rapidly.

Khao thinks to himself, is this it? Is he finally breaking? Why isn't this making me feel good? Isn't this what i always wanted? He thinks as first breaks down clutching onto khao as if his life depends on it. If this is what he wanted, what is even this bitter aftertaste. He hugs him close afraid that if not he might just slip away.

(Khao POV)

It was too much wasn't it... How did I not see it?
"Shh.. I got you, you have me. All you have to do is put your trust on me. I'll take care of the rest, oh my love."
So his souls finally mine huh? He yawns as he pats his head calming him down. While all he can think of is taking him right there. With his doe eyes and glistening lips we going raw for sure, he giggles at his own thoughts.

(first POV)

Right, atleast I have him.

First moves his head closer to Khaos chest, after all how bad can it even get?