TWO ALONG THEIR WAY ┃a. bridgerton

10: ruin

Tonight was going to be the night. If Anthony was going to propose to Edwina, it was going to happen at the Hearts and Flowers Ball. And Edwina had been asking Anna time and again to be civil, then more than civil, and now she was certain she would have to give her approval to the man she was beginning to care for more than life itself. Anthony would never know it. If he felt the same as she did, there was no way that he would still be courting Edwina, surely.

As usual, however there was no time to wallow in it, not while Edwina and Kate and their mother were at her side. While they all matched in rose-pink dresses, she'd opted to wear one of her brightest, of gold and green, in hopes it would wash out the dark circles under her eyes and detract from her general sombre demeanour.

Anna descended the stairs with a graceful smile to match the opulence of the room. Anthony ascended at the same time, eyes stuck on Edwina. He held out a hand to the youngest sister. "Miss Edwina, might I have your first dance?"

"Certainly, my lord," Edwina replied. She smiled at both her sisters before taking the viscount's hand and descending with him to the dance floor. Anna took a deep breath to calm herself.

"We should go and get some lemonade for ourselves," Kate suggested, but her sister shook her head and pointed across the room, to where Mr Dorset stood. He noticed them like a second instinct and made his way towards him. 

"Go and dance, Kate. Enjoy some lemonade with him, and then perhaps there could be two Sharma weddings this year."

Sending her siblings off was bitter-sweet. In some ways, this was what Anna had always wanted to see her sisters thrive. If Henry were seeing them, she knew he'd be proud too. Of all three of them. It was what kept her going and going and going.

"Have you been enjoying your alone time with the viscount?" Lady Danbury voiced. Anna tensed, unsure what to say. "Yesterday's hunt. It went well, I take it?"

"Ah," she said, clearing her throat. "Yes. It went well."

Lady Danbury hummed and smiled, though she squinted her eyes like she was trying to figure something out, or had already figured something out. It did not last long, however, and she, too, eventually left Anna to her own solitary company.

She descended the steps herself, keeping to the edge for some time and quietly watching Kate dance and laugh with Mr Dorset while Edwina danced with Anthony. Happiness, she thought. This was the closest to happiness she would ever get, lived through her sisters until they were married and she was free to leave them to the security of their new lives. Wherever their mama would end up, she did not know, but she knew she would be well of with either of them.

Anna, however, would be all the more glad to be gone, far away from England, far away from Anthony Bridgerton, far away from anything that would give her a reason to stay, or a reason to keep trying. In India, there would be little left for her. It would be a peaceful retreat, however long it lasted, until she let the reaper come knocking at her door.

No. It was not happiness, she realised. It was equilibrium. And that was perfectly fine.

Ten minutes later, Edwina was approaching her again with a brighter smile than before. Things were going well. That was good. It meant everything was going according to plan, and that the end was fast approaching. Anna smiled at her little sister and gently caressed her chin affectionately.

"I am glad to see you happy, bon," she said.

"I am," Edwina replied. "Lord Bridgerton has gone to get me a lemonade. We've just finished our second dance. I'm certain he would not have asked me for two if he did not have intentions for the evening?"