To love and to Hate

27: One last time

*I totally forgot to put this song at the beginning of a more intense chapter! But it's like another huge theme for this story, and I've listened to it TONS
*Highly recommend for the dramatic plots of this book
* The death of peace of Mind- Bad Omens

*Also smut ahead but important stuff outside of it so don't skip the whole thing once you reach it :)

Thrashing limbs and whipping chains harshly yanked Jisung back into his body. He let out a desperate shout, the world blurry in his vision, sounds swimming through his ears. More shouts that were not his own joined the cacophony of untraceable noises, and all Jisung could think was danger, danger, danger.

Then just like that, everything seemed to fall into focus, and Jisung fell limp against cold, stone tiles, his breathing labored, head spinning. His throat burned, and he realized that he'd been screaming. He could feel chains weighing on his limbs, uncoordinated and everywhere, like he was roped down similar to a wild horse.

The fire mage squeezed his eyes shut, pressing his head back against the tiles, attempting to bring himself down but failing as he felt tears slip free. All he could see was Minho's lifeless body. All he could hear was the roar of flames, all he could smell was the stink of smoke as it burned everything in its path.

Monster monster monster.

"Open your eyes for me, come on, Jisung."

The soft voice, for some reason, had something in Jisung's chest cracking. But he did not move. There was no reason to move any more, was there?

"Jisung, can you hear me?" A cool hand touched his face.

"Leave me alone," he forced out, voice choked. "Just let me fade, please."

"You're alright, it's just me, Chan, okay?" The hand moved to brush soothing strokes through his hair. "I'm here for you, just breathe, and come back to me."

Jisung's watery eyes fluttered open, but he still didn't move as he took in a sharp breath. "Why am I still here? I- I lost it. I lost- I lost myself. I lost him."

Chan came close in an instant, dragging the fire mage up into his lap to cradle his head. "I'm so sorry, Jisung," he whispered. "But you'll be alright. You'll be alright."

Jisung curled into Chan, making himself as tiny as possible in the guild master's hold. He remained like that for a long time, shedding no more tears, but shaking in Chan's embrace. Nothing felt right anymore.

"Where am I?" he finally whispered, feeling the unsteady shakes in his body slowly dissipate.

"We're at Enforcement headquarters. A private cell. It was the only way anyone could get you to... stop."

Jisung felt a surge of panic, and he sat up, meeting Chan's eyes quickly and ignoring the many chains rattling on his body. "Did I hurt anyone important?Did I hurt anyone in the guild? Jeongin? Changbin?"

"You didn't hurt any of us, I promise," Chan quickly said, catching Jisung's hands. "But you did defeat the entirety of the Unseen... pretty much all on your own."

Jisung's jaw dropped. "There's no way-"

"If there was no way, I must have dreamed everything up."

Words failed the fire mage completely. "I... I won a war... alone?"

"You did."

Jisung lightly fidgeted with the chains dangling over his arms. "Okay, that's kind of badass, but... the reason behind it... isn't so much." He glanced away. "How long have I been here?"