Thick and Thin (New Version)

Chapter Eight: Matt

I awake in late afternoon, feeling the steady thump of my pulse in my swollen nose. I know I deserved it, and I'd let Brian do it ten more times if he wanted to, but damn does it hurt. I stumble out of bed and walk over to the window, pulling back the velvet curtains and letting the golden light flood the room. Zach's guest rooms are just as exquisite as the rest of his house. A four-poster queen sized bed sits in the center of the room, outfitted in expensive satin sheets and six royal down pillows. I just had the best sleep of my life in that bed, but I can't be certain if it's because it's a $6,000 mattress or just because of how exhausted I was.

I rub the corners of my eyes and grab the remote from the floor, turning off the 55" t.v. on the wall and heading into the attached bathroom. I flip the light on and brace myself to look in the mirror. Brian was right. I don't think my nose is broken, but he certainly did a number on it. It's swollen to nearly twice its normal size, my skin a brilliant mix of purples and greens and blues. It must've started bleeding again while I was asleep too, because dried up blood is crusted around my nostrils and on my cupid's bow. I unroll some toilet paper and douse it in warm water, gently wiping away the blood and wincing at the more tender spots.

"He sure can fucking hit," I laugh to myself. It'll be a cold day in hell before Brian and I stay mad at each other for more than an hour or two, even when it comes to physical altercations. A new lump of guilt forms in my chest when I think about what I said, and I consider punching myself just for good measure.

"Fucking idiot," I tell the guy standing in the mirror as I kick off my socks and pants and walk over to turn on the shower. I adjust the water to near-boiling and step inside, yanking the black curtain closed behind me. I inhale the steam slowly, ignoring the twinge of pain with every breath I take in. I let my thoughts wander as I grab a travel-sized bottle of soap from the ledge and lather up, washing away yesterday's travels and today's folly.

I don't know what came over me that caused me to lash out at Brian like that, and maybe it wouldn't have been so bad if I didn't bring Jimmy into it. After all, it's not our place to look after Brooke and Zach is a grown man who's going to have to figure his own shit out, but telling Brian that he couldn't save Jimmy when he was the one who found him dead? That was just cold, and I'd do anything to take it back. I guess I just wasn't thinking straight, being sleep deprived and still upset over my fight with Val.

My wife and I used to never fight. We've been best friends since middle school and dating since we were 20 years old. Without Val, Avenged Sevenfold wouldn't exist. She used to travel around with us in a hot, stinky van to sell merch for us on Warped Tour, acted as our manager for a few years when we couldn't actually afford one, and has even lended her voice to a few songs. It wasn't long before Brian fell for her twin sister, and we've all been one big happy family ever since. I should've known she'd tell Michelle about our fight and then Michelle would tell Brian.

It's not that I don't want to help Brooke. I'm just a firm believer that you have to fix yourself before you can fix anyone else, and we're all broken in one way or another. I'm worried that the added stress of having Jimmy's cousin here will only make Zach's condition worse, and that Johnny will start drinking again in Florida. Call me selfish, but those aren't risks I'm willing to take for a girl we don't even know anymore.

I rinse my body off and step out of the shower, wrapping a towel around my waist and walking back into the bedroom to realize I don't have any clean clothes to wear. I wasn't planning on staying at Zach's last night, and now it looks like I'm stuck here for at least a couple of days until Brian and Johnny get back. It's inconvenient, but I can't say I disagree with Brian for wanting someone to be here with him. Zach's been a ticking time bomb ever since Johnny almost died.