The summer that was

"You should make a list"

"A list?"

"Of all the things you want to accomplish this summer and as you go along, you can just cross them off. As easy as that."

As easy as that.

This short but incredibly time consuming conversation took place within the four, perfectly white... sorry, baby powder walls which belonged to my councillor Maddie. Maddie is a 4"1 bundle of enthusiasm that was hired by my mother to delve into my unlocked feelings, which she believes is what's holding me back from "being the inspiring young woman" she thinks I should be. I know she's trying to help and this is her way of dealing with things, but after... After anything huge happens in a person's life that changes them in a way that changes who they are, it's hard to rebound and regroup. I told Maddie this. In confidence. But her and my mother decided that I should plug into my creative power socket and create a journal, dedicated to my list.

So this is what you are. I can't believe I'm referring to this parcel of pages as a "you" but I guess I'm finished with trying to castrate my crazy. First, I'm told, I have to start with a fact file about myself. I haven't filled in one of these since I was 12 so you have to bear with me...

Fact file

Name: Emily Maerd

Date of birth: 08/03/1998

Likes: Books such as, The Great Gatsby, Travelling To Infinity, I Was Here, The Shadow Of Death, Heart Shaped Bruise, Looking For Alaska (sorry I couldn't pick one, that would be an insult to not only myself but the literary world), music, travelling, nothing out of the ordinary...

Dislikes: Putting myself out there, rejection and without a doubt, cooked veg

Favourite colour: Black. Like the colour of my soul.

I was joking, Maddie, I was joking...

Shoe size: Is this really necessary?

Biggest fear: The past.