Marvel One-Shots

No Mischief In Memories

Warning: suicidal thoughts, self hate, self loathing, memories, possibly ptsd. Mental circle/loops. An attempt at healing.

(Part 1)

He laid in his bed, memories racking his brain. The very things that lead him here, also paralyzed him.

Feeling like every little thing was his fault, a storm in his psyche he couldn't fix. Its been there his whole life to guide him, the direction..

Not for the faint of heart.

Every moment, every second he lay in a cell. He wastes away, all forethoughts feel endless. One thought, leads to another, and to another until, a so very strong god has fallen to his knees begging death be wished upon him. For death's hands to hold him, give him the warmth of no longer living another day.

Thats what he craved..

But he never got mercy. Mercy never sympathized with the god of lies, it sought to see him suffer the same fate it not worse of the ones he hurt.

He speaks, a shrill. "Why am i here; of all things what is my purpose. Mistakes, and mistakes have lead me here, the things i cannot fix. Why must i have been so stupid."

Flashing thoughts, one person who kept him alive, walking the fate as so determined. Frigga, his mother, and his best friend. Her death, had torn him to bits. Not being granted the mercy of seeing her, to speak to her one last time.

Making the mistake of leading algrim right to her, his guilt is still so immense that the thought itself very well could create tsunami's and storms mightier then thor himself.

He is left with nothing but a cell, to be watched upon like a child. Not to be trusted, assumed he has mirth, venom towards anyone he sees. Not true to say the least, he wishes for contact. A brain against its will so chooses not to speak, his thoughts stay to himself; his words are empty. No thing being said, or the truth is forced to light.

Eyes constantly darting, looking, anything. Concentration, wanting someone to walk into the door. To do what, he doesn't know.

Silence has been bitter, even for a god.

Sat vulnerable, attest to itself a torture on his mind. Theres only so much anyone can handle, even someone like himself. Its inevitable, its fate sticking its dirty hand into play, rolling the dice

Chances are, he's stuck here until being hauled to the next. More days, night's spent waits for the next thing. Although nothing ever comes.

Loki wishes thor would visit, a king now he no longer has time for him. It deepened a blow to his once strong, but now fragile mind.

Feeling unloved, having only himself. Looking over the scars and all things that brought him here, it feels.....

Unforgiving

Relentless


Deluded

Unfortunate

Loki wanted forgiveness, but they couldn't even give it to themself. That played in his mind, over. Millenia, its been on his mind. Although its too late now to change it.

But thats only what he thinks.