KHWAISH : his only wish

chapter 6

Khwaish tiwaari

It was a terrible year.

My whole life was ruined and I couldn't do anything. I had spent this whole year just worrying about my marks and monica.

It hurt me to see monica in such a situation. Helpless, abused, hurt and every worse thing . Her life was ruined from the first day of this new year only and after that her parents just got more and more abusive towards her.

And the worst thing was that I couldn't even meet her in starting 2 months when I knew she needed me the most. The recovery was hard and after the recovery I was burdened with lots of pending school work and I spent my whole summer vacation either stressing or going out with monica.

I wanted to make more memories with her and wanted to see her happy and with the fact that her parents never home just made it perfect because we would be back before them or they never really noticed her absence.

We would go out on picnics, partys, play dates, movie nights, dinner and basically just had fun and enjoyed and I could see her happy smile but it didn't hide the bruises, the pain she was taking.
She is very strong.

But between all this I got distanced from my family, friends and my enemy. We hardly talked or fought, it was as if we just had a silent competition which we would do but never said anything.

And then I completely lost touch with as he was busy with his life while I was busy with mine plus I had better things to do like fix my relationship with my family and friends and i got stuck in this loop of equalizing everything that I completely forgot about myself.

I would always be busy with studies, friends, family that I forgot about myself and nowadays when I looked into the mirror I felt like an complete stranger.
I wasn't myself, I was lost , I wasn't that bubbly, happy and positive girl anymore I had turned into this so called mature woman.

I learned more things about life, like how some people can be snakes and use you, pull you down, talk behind your back and I realized this all.

My life had turned into a complete mess which couldn't be organized no matter how hard you try. And I had also started my periods this year which made everything just perfect. Note the sarcasm.

Oh and to top it all off my nani (maternal grandma) died and I completely broke.
After that accident in which I had fell from the stairs my life had this daily routine of crying. I had never cried this much in my whole life. I cried myself to sleep, I cried in the stalls, I cried in empty classrooms. I put up a fake smile.
My nani my life the person I loved alot, the person who I loved alot had passed away. And it hurt just imagine this happened with you. Many people would even get scared of just thought and I experienced it.

It was as grief had taken over my heart as darkness surrounded me as it engulfed me making me seperate from the whole world. It was as if their was crack which had now turned into an entire rivine.