ꜱᴏɴɢ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴏᴠᴇ

IX

I felt terrible that night, watching the bodies of my family, friends and allies burn in the crackling campfire, wrapped with beautiful shrouds, knowing that it was my fault they had fallen.

Rose, Anastacya, Lee, Castor, Lilia, Song, Aster, Derik, and so many more I never even had the time to learn their names. (If your name is here, it is totally accidental. Except for @Son-of-Nyx and @NoSaneHumanAllowed , I did that bc it sounded nice... sorry.)

The woods were blooming beautifully in a depressing sort of way, as the forest floor was littered with new saplings and flowers from fallen Satyrs and Nymphs. All my fault.

I had told Luke about our defenses.

I had stood to the sidelines as my family fought to the death.

I had lied, pretended I was fighting for then when in fact, it was the other way 'round.

I had caused this.

I wished that I could join the dead. Then those still standing wouldn't have to worry about Luke gaining information from camp, because I was the spy.

They'd be safer without me, yet here I was, too cowardly to take my life for the betterment of others. (That's called suicide. Suicide is bad. Don't think these things, kids. Everybody deserves to have a chance at life, don't ruin yours)

What am I going to do? Will I ever be able to make up for this? Or will I forever live with this terrible guilt weighing down my every move?

The only light that keeps me going through this crushing darkness is Charlie and his kind words or encouragement, yet even he doesn't know what I've done. Doesn't know that the bodies burning in the flame are my fault.

~🌊