◆---★°●Prologue●°★---◆
Koi no yokan (n.) (phr.) the sense that one has upon meeting another person, that they will fall in love
...
Have you ever felt out of place? Like a different shade of blue. You're all the same color but you still have different aspects that make you completely unique for each other. Nonetheless people still say your all in the same. Still blue no matter what shade. I was a shade different shade, more dull than the rest.
Growing up was a bit of a rough patch for me. I was everything my mother hated and for that, she and everyone else disspised me. Maybe if I was born with pretty blonde curls, hazel eyes and fair skin like my brother things might have been less...hellish. But no I was born with curls as dark as the night sky and two different color eyes. Normally, that wouldn't be a problem as it was seen as blessing from the divine. However, my eye was purple, meaning I was a witch like my father. My other eyes was as green as newly born leaf. I was the spitting image of my father, sometimes I wish I wasn't. But what can you do when you're the only shade of this blue? A glaucous blue. Dull and almost devoidant of colour.
But my eyes weren't the only problem. My skin was as well. A few shades darker then the rest of my family that aligned with my fathers own skin. It wasn't the usual type of discrimation. It wasn't the fact that my skin was not the same as theirs. Its never a sure thing with children you could come out looking like your great aunt or distant cousin. It was the fact that embodied my father, a hollow shell of what a man and a father should be.
A wizard, alcoholic and bipolar all in one. One minute he adores you, the next your head should be mounted on a silver plater. The reincarntion of the devil himself. Thats why I was hated. For being the daughter of the devil himself.
That fact made my life hell on earth. Still I never once blamed my father. I'm a idiot I know, but you can't change the way you were born nor the experiences that carved every inch of your being and made you the sculpture you grow up to be. Angel or devil. Cyclops or fairy. Deer or wolf. Its what you do with it, if you choose to become prey or predator. I can't change what he chose.
The potential you have is limitless. You could be so much more than just a dull shade of blue. For there is more just one shade of blue. Each one vibrant and unique its on way.
In english there's a word for everything. There's always a word for another word that describes it better and has a more deeper rooted meaning. This isn't english though...it comes straight out of ancient japan, an old saying.
Once when I was 6, my mother despite her hatred wanted me to know more of my family. Starting with my father's side. One to get the most hard part over. And two she knew her side would hate me the day they saw me and for the rest of the days that followed as walked the earth.
It was a dark and damp place. Metal bars is what drew a border of space between us. The space between them was just enough so we could touch hands. I never did though. Not because I hated the idea of touching a complete stranger, although family. There is a thing, a saying. West indian. 'Who don hear, does feel'. The consequences of your own actions. In this case mine was a slap. Ouch. I always had high pain tolerance but that hurt. Not because of the blood running down my cheek from the blade she drew across my face, but because she did it. My own mother. That stung not on face but my chest, just past my ribcage.
I sat there, stunned. What's a child to do? The child who's only hope was turn into something brand new. Something more than a dull shade of blue. I needed to add something new. A different shade to my devoidant hue. Something different that what i was seen as, my father. I was not my father, nor will i ever be. Though the same color, each shade has there own qualities that seperates them from each other. That's why they're seperated by contrast and vibrance in the first place.
