Burning For Her Love

Here, Maisie!

Faye

I reluctantly get up on Monday, gazing at the message I left unanswered from Maisie on Sunday. It's fine, I'll see her today. Not that I want to go in at all, but I have no choice in the matter after all of my absences so far. I hear footsteps coming towards my door, likely my father coming to make sure I actually go in.

"I'm up!" I call with a sigh before he has the chance to storm in, but he does anyways. I'm standing and picking out my clothes for the day, grimacing at the little selection I have. I hear the door burst open, but I don't move my gaze to the sound, although it does makes me jump a little. I play it off, pretending to be examining a specific shirt and turning it around in my hands. I feel his disapproving look on me before he leaves, the door creaking as it shuts again. My mind is still hazy from sleep, but I have enough consciousness to know that I absolutely don't want to go anywhere today.

I trail to the bathroom, shutting and locking it behind me as I deliberately take my time. I draw the eyeliner in around my eyes, making it extra dramatic, smudging it. Maisie always reaches out to try to fix it, making me have to explain that I, for some strange reason, totally want to look like a panda and not just cool.

Then starts the walk to college when I'm finally finished. I let out another dramatic sigh as I trail off, but then I feel guilty for being this way and speaking that way. I can't do anything right.

I walk the long, stupid walk up, wishing death on whoever decided it would be a good idea to place a college where the walk to it would be so tedious. But then the shame kicks in again, and I slip a quick prayer in, apologizing to God and telling him that I didn't mean anything I just thought, and that it was that dastardly imperfection slipping into me again.

I get to college, and the first thing I spot is Maisie, surrounded by her gaggle of friends. I feel a pang of jealousy in my chest, another sin creeping up on me. They all surround her eagerly, vying for her attention. Oh, here Maisie, you're thirsty, take my drink! Here, Maisie, I'll chew your gum for you so your precious teeth don't have to touch it!

I push those thoughts out of my head, guilt washing over my face yet again. She's my best friend. I just wish that she wasn't everybody's best friend, because she's the only one I've really got. I push past the crowd, elbowing the boys in particular as they don't deserve to speak to Maisie.

"Hi-" I start speaking to Maisie, but before I have the chance to say much more, she's already rushed forward, embracing me. I know psychical touch has always been her thing and i never minded it. She must be squeezing tighter or something lately, as it makes it hard for me to breathe again. I feel suffocated in her, my lips parting as I try not to gasp. A strange rush of heat spreads to my face again, feeling her soft body against mine and her vanilla scent. I watch as she finally pulls away, sweetly talking to her friends and politely informing them that she's going to class now. They offer to walk her there, but I quickly clasp her hand and steer her away.

"Hii! Oh, Faye, did you do the maths homework you had? Or the photography coursework? I started my work on Sunday. I should've started it sooner, I know, but.." Her voice carries on until it eventually fades out, my thoughts getting distracted again as I carefully pull us through the crowded interior of the building. I have tutor first. I wouldn't mind being late to tutor, but Maisie has a lesson first, and she would mind being late. I sigh as she speaks about maths. It's embarrassing, being 18 and retaking it for the third time. I'll forever be stuck retaking it. Prayers have never helped me through any maths exam. I nod along occasionally to her words, getting distracted further by the feeling of her warm hand against mine. But that's normal, we always hold hands, since we were kids.

So, why does it feel so different now?