What's A Man To Do?

Chapter 16: I Wish

JERMAINE'S POV 

I have been on my knees praying to GOD that he fix what I am going through right now. I know I been a really fucked up person this past month but I am truly begging for GOD to forgive me. 

"GOD if I never needed you before, I need you now!"

Shit I should be asking Heaven and Victoria to forgive me. I just don't know what has gotten into me but whatever it is, needs to change. 

My baby, my wife, my lover heaven is in a coma. She been in the damn coma ever since she got hit by the car. They had to do an emergency C-section because the baby was under a lot of stress. 

Heaven gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, I named her Serenity Nicole Simms. My GOD she is the most adorable baby. Look just like her mommy, I think she has my nose. My baby girl has been in the NIC-U for the past week, she is a small because she was born three months early. But other then that she is a healthy baby.  I haven't left Serenity side, I been here everyday watching her grow so I could take her home. 

Im praying both my girls will be able to both come home. Truth of the matter Heaven lost a lot of blood getting hit by a car then having Serenity. They had to do emergency surgery because she was bleeding internally. We are just waiting for her to wake up. The family and friends been here but my dad hasn't. 

I don't know what to say honestly about that. My dad has always been distant towards me from since I could remember. And to be honest I never wanted to be around him.

*FLASHBACKK*

It was spring break of my senior year in college and I wanted to surprise my mom. I walked up to my mom porch and got the key from under the flower pot. She was out with her friends and I wanted to surprise her by showing up unexpected. My dad was supposed to be at work so it was a good time for me to go in with the vase of flowers, place them on the table and cook a little something. You know just to show my mom that I appreciated her for all the things she has done for me.

As I walked through the three-story house I called out to see if anyone was there and I didn't get anything. So I proceeded to the kitchen and placed the vase on the counter. I turned around because I heard a couple noises. I called out again but again no answer. I looked in the family room and dinning room but no one was there so I went up stairs. I heard people talking from my parents room but they cars were gone. I began to get confused but kept walking towards their room. 

The closer  I got I began to hear moans. 

"Yes JACKK yesss, just like that"

I cracked the door open and found my dad having sex with some lady I didn't know.

"DAD WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING"

"Oh shit Jermanine what you doing here"

He jumped up and placed the sheets over his body, the female got up and got dressed.

"FUCK YOU MEAN WHAT IM DOING HERE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING CHEATING ON MOM"

"Son its not what you think"

"MAN IF YA ASS WASNT NAKED I WOULD COME OVER THERE AND FUCK YOU UP"

I stormed down stairs and grabbed the flowers off the kitchen counter and left. Soon I got in the car I called my mom up.

*ringing*

 "Hey honey, hows your spring break?"

I tried to sound calm but I was pissed. I didn't know how to say it or how my mom was gonna take it but I had to say something. 

"Mom, I just left the house"

"My House? What was you doing there?"

"Well, I was there to--never mind that but I caught.."

"Mmmm? Caught what baby?"

"Ma dad was having sex with another female"

She began to laugh but this shit was not funny. How could she possibly be laughing at this. 

"Ma what you laughing for? Im serious"

"Your father wouldn't dare do that, stop lying"

"Lying? LYING? Why would I Lie about something like this?"

"Jermaine I don't know but it don't sound like something your dad would do"

"Well he did and what you gonna do about it?"

"Ummm I'll confront him about"

"That's it? You need to kick his ass out ma, what if this aint the first time?"

"Listen, I'll confront your father"

"Okay Ma"

I was so pissed I believed she would be mad as hell but she was cool. 

***

I shook my head at the thought and walked towards a sleeping serenity. Truth be told what I saw back then changed me. It changed how I viewed men and women. It made me cold towards women and thats what became of my life. My mom took that shit like it was nothing and she still with him till this day. So I figured all women were the same but I was wrong. A couple of the women I hurt badly taught me that but I still continued to play in a love war. 

I resented my dad ever since then and he never talked to me about the matter. Just as I was pissed for him cheating on my mom he was mad at me for telling on him. So we just became distant and I regretted even telling my mom. In her eyes then I was a lier and I was putting her husband out there. See as I got older I knew damn well she believed me. 

I just wish I aint never have to witness no shit like that.  Then maybe I wouldn't have gotten myself into no shit like this. Heaven would not be in a coma, my daughter wouldn't be in the NIC-U and damn then theres Victoria. Fuck its just too much on me right now, my damn plate his full. 

"Mr. Simms Heaven is awake"