And I Told Them I Invented Times New Roman [billdip]

Emperor's New Clothes

a/n: yeah i know, i said i wasn't gonna write anymore billdip but HERE WE ARE so. my writing has improved over the last 10 years, please read this over bad romance. 

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 1st

Speeding down the highway at an alarming rate was a large moving truck, hauling the contents of the entire lives of twins, Dipper and Mabel Pines. Behind the wheel was their Great Uncle Stanley, and sat beside him was their Great Uncle Ford. Ford was gripping the seat tightly, wondering aloud who the hell decided Stan should be behind the wheel, considering his cataracts that greatly clouded his vision. I might as well be wearing a blindfold, too! he had once said when driving the twins to go fishing when they were twelve.

"This is the exit!" Dipper yelled out to Stan, hoping he had enough time to swerve over to the next lane without causing an accident. While Stan was not a great driver per the rules of the road, he was remarkably talented at being an unprofessional race-car driver, and thus had no issues merging three lanes to the right to make it to the exit on time.

"Jesus Christ, Stanley," Ford grunted, his grip tightening on his seat, as if he could tighten it any more. "Are you trying to kill us?"

"No," Stan shrugged, skidding to a stop at the light. "You let me drive."

"What— No I didn't!"

"Grunkle Stan, the next light is a right, and that's the apartment complex," Dipper interrupted. While the two Stans had eventually reconciled in their differences, they still couldn't be in the same vicinity without having at least one argument. During their first year staying with them, while they were twelve, Dipper and Mabel vowed to each other to never let their relationship strain so much they ended up like them. Dipper couldn't imagine a world where he didn't speak to his sister for thirty years, but he also couldn't imagine having a fight with her so badly that it resulted in her being pushed into an inter-dimensional portal.

"So this is it," Stan grinned, haphazardly pulling into the complex. "What's your building number again?"

"618!" Mabel yelled out cheerfully, gripping her new apartment's gold key in har hand. She'd already had a custom key printed for her, which featured a shooting star in the handle. Dipper was amused, but grew less so when she had pulled out a matching gold key for him that had a pine tree engraved instead.

Carelessly pulling into a parking spot in front of the building, Stan parked the truck and quickly slipped out. He stretched his legs for a few moments as everyone else unloaded out of the truck. Cracking a few bones in his knuckles, he took a deep breath and threw up the door leading to the bed, of which was filled to the brim of Dipper's and (mostly) Mabel's belongings.

The twins had recently graduated from California Institute of the Arts, with Dipper receiving a degree in creative writing and Mabel in scene design. A majority of Dipper's items were barebones: some simple furniture, like a desk, bookshelf, table, and a mattress, along with a few boxes of writing supplies. On the other hand, Mabel had collected an eccentric level things, ranging from various decorations from her dorm room, to several set design projects she had kept from all four years of study. Mabel had refused to get rid of any of them, saying they were "scrapbook-ortunities."

"Who's first floor and who's third floor again?" Ford asked, walking into the bed of the truck and looking at the various boxes and furniture stacked up as if it were a game of Tetris.

"I'm first!" Mabel cheered. "In fact... I think I'm the first apartment! I'm 101!"

"I'm third," Dipper answered at the same time. "At least I have less things."

Mabel sent him a playful glare, but ignored the indirect comment about how much she owned. The Stans each shrugged before they each took an end of Dipper's writing desk and hauled it out of the truck.

"Go unlock your door," Stan grunted as they slowly made their way to the stairs. Dipper nodded as he ascended the stairs ahead of them, glancing at each of the room's doors before landing on his, 303.

For being as old as they were, Stan and Ford were still strong and somewhat agile. It was one of the reasons that they had volunteered to help move the twins; the second being that they were already in Oregon, and therefore closer to where they were moving, unlike their parents who had stayed in Piedmont, California. Dipper figured that they were never going to leave the city and that they'd probably retire there too.

Dipper unlocked his door and held it open for the Stans as they approached with his desk. They plopped it down towards the back of the living room, directly in front of the window. Dipper didn't mind, as that's where he actually wanted it, so it was less work for him in the end.

Over the course of the next few hours, the empty space in each of the twins' apartments became less sparse and more homely — notably, Mabel's. Dipper's was still fairly empty, but he had all he really needed: two bookshelves to either side of his desk, a dingy couch that lay in the middle of the room that he inherited from his old college roommate, some dishes, silverware, and various small appliances for the kitchen, and his mattress. He realized he'd have to buy an actual bed frame someday, since he couldn't take the one from his dorm, but he was fine with sleeping on the floor for now. It meant that if he rolled off the bed, he wouldn't have far to fall.

Mabel's apartment was much more colorful and full. She had actual, functioning furniture, including a couch that was bright green and wasn't covered in rips and tears. She had a full-size bed that had a canopy with pink silk falling from the sides, along with a nightstand and lamp. Her kitchen was filled with the same various appliances as Dipper's, but her dishes and silverware were matching sets and overall looked more cohesive and put-together than his. Her home looked like it was already well-lived, whereas Dipper's felt... hollow. But he didn't mind. Less things for him to keep track of, less things for him to clean, less things to worry about.

Grunkle Stan gave each of the kids some money — which was a rare occurrence — so they had time to settle into their new careers. Great Uncle Ford gifted a copy of his journals to Dipper and gifted Mabel an expensive set of art markers for her projects. With well wishes spoken, the two Grunkles were on their way home, as well as return the truck to where it was rented. Dipper and Mabel said goodbyes to each other as well, even though they lived a few yards apart, and retreated to their own rooms.

Dipper sighed, recognizing it was going to be a long day as he shut his door behind him. He didn't have nearly as much to unpack as his sister, but considering it was mostly heavy books, he wasn't looking forward to it. Biting his lip, willing himself to get it over with, he walked towards his desk and began unpacking his writing stuff first — it was the most important to him, anyways.