Delta

iv. i'm a mess

{ picture: lydia, after storm rebekah; song: i'm a mess by ed sheeran }

Two weeks later, my world came crashing down for the fourth time in my life.

The first week was been surprisingly good, and the second week—or at least the first three days of it—even better. Hayden and I settled into a rhythm: we'd walk to school together, go to our separate classes, eat lunch together in some secluded part of the school, and after goofing off in the one class we had together, walk home again and repeat the cycle the next morning.

But ever since my run-in with Rebekah, I'd been getting strange letters stuffed through the slats of my locker, written in an unfamiliar scrawl.

You won't win.

Savor it, because it won't last.

You don't deserve happiness.

You play innocent, but you and I both know you're the devil in angel's garb.

I'm going to break you if it's the last thing I do.

I'll rip him away from you and you won't be able to do a thing about it.

Sooner or later, he'll find out just what kind of monster you are.

Hayden knew about them, and every time he saw another letter, he got more and more concerned. As he learned more about my social status, he began to assume somewhat of a protective role over me. The second day he was here, some kid thought it'd be funny to go, "hey, look, it's the mermaid skank!" and Hayden gave him a stony look that made him turn tail and run. He'd been sticking up for me ever since, and after the first week had passed, I was (mostly) left alone.

And it wasn't just me, either. On his third day here, he'd told off one of the football assholes for picking on this gay kid. He'd ended up in detention for it because the jock had started beating him up instead of the other kid, but afterwards, Hayden told me that he didn't really mind as long as the other kid was fine, and besides, the football dude had gotten suspended.

But though Hayden's concern for me was touching, it made me nervous. Frankly, the letters scared me more than I was willing to admit. I'd gotten letters like this before, but back then, I had had nothing to lose. There was nothing they could do that would make things worse. Now they could, and that terrified me.

Out of all of the populars, Rebekah Holt was the most formidable. She wasn't just mean and ruthless—she was smart and cunning, too, a dangerous combination. She'd spent years building up a network of allies through blackmail, intimidation and bribery. She knew how to completely break someone apart to get her way, and for me, that way was Hayden—the one friend I had. I'd spent so long protecting myself that now that Rebekah could find a chink in my armor, I was sure she would use it.

Hayden, bless him, seemed to know that I was worried—even if he didn't know why—and did his absolute best to distract me, always waiting for me on my front porch in the mornings with some new story or joke to tell. I knew he had a few other friends—he was already worming his way into the volleyball clique, that sneaky bastard—but he seemed to spend most of his time with me, despite my many objections. He never seemed to mind, though, even though I was sure it wasn't doing him any favors socially.

"Did you finish the math homework?" he asked on Thursday morning, his breath forming little clouds in front of him. It was nearing February, but if anything, it seemed to be getting colder instead of warmer.

"Yeah," I said, pulling my coat closer around me as we continued up the sidewalk. "I'm not sure how I did, though, and I had that stupid science project too, so..."