in love ♡ - a finn wolfhard fanfiction novel

21: the denial - part one

A/n: Some things in this part is based off of what actually happened to me during the early days of falling for Finn. ♡

Y/n's POV

All of a sudden, I couldn't stop scrolling through Finn's Instagram account after he liked my recent post. I wasn't even sure what the hell I was doing. Anyway, I kept on scrolling and looking at some of his posts—until I reached onto his very first Instagram post...

But I do find his posts interesting—and funny; I couldn't stop laughing my ass off on my bed. I mean, I never experienced this sort of joy before from a famous person—or just from a normal human being like anyone else.

He's different.

Come on, Y/n. Why are you even doing this?

Okay, so I stopped scrolling on Instagram. I got up from my bed to start working on homework. I walked over to my desk and opened my laptop.

After a couple of minutes since I began doing my English assignment, I decided to take a shot break. But I stayed on my desk to check on some stuff on my computer.

Suddenly, I found myself quickly typing Finn Wolfhard on Google but in Incognito as if I was gonna search something from a lesson.

And there, images and stuff about Finn appeared on my computer screen.

[A/n: Confession time—this actually happened during the early days of me falling for Finn.]

What the hell, Y/n?!?

It was like I got possessed—I continued to scroll and looked on some pictures of Finn. And there was this one from the Stranger Things 2 premiere last year.

I wasn't aware until I closed the tab.

But after I got some water, I stupidly typed Mike Wheeler on Google, yet in Incognito. Now, search results of Mike Wheeler appeared on my screen.

Y/n, what in the shitty world are you doing?!?!?

I kept looking at pictures of Mike, until it led me to Pinterest.

Thankfully, I didn't see some spoilers—again, I hadn't watched the show yet. Maybe by the summer.

I went on with what I was unconsciously doing. More pictures of Finn appeared in the more ideas page of Pinterest and some Mike.

But there was this one photo that suddenly caught my eye.

Huh, he does look cute...

I thought to myself.

I stared at the picture of a while. I couldn't help but think of how cute Finn looked. Suddenly, I was smiling and began feeling odd.

Ugh, enough!

I closed the Incognito tab.

I took a deep breath and processed what just happened.

Later on, I was downstairs helping some things out with my parents in the living room. After a little while, I was pacing around the room with my hands inside the pockets of my pajamas.

My parents were just lounging around talking, while I lost out of all these sudden thoughts of me and Finn...

I crossed my arms as I began thinking—is Finn going to be...no way...my new crush?

I mean, I've had crushes before when I was really young—musicians, to be specific.

I don't know, just thinking about it all made me feel something.

To be honest, Finn seemed to be sort of my type.

Oh my God, could he be...?

I put my fingers on my lips, now smirking.

Will Finn be my next crush?

"Y/n, are you alright?" my dad asked me.

"Oh, yeah," I nodded. "I'm good, thank you."

After a bit, I immediately went back to my bedroom to finish my homework.

Alright, I then finished my assignment without any distractions or searching Finn or Mike on the internet in Incognito.

I then collapsed onto my bed, wondering what I should do next.

I did wish to call or text Avery again. But I wasn't sure if I should, I mean, what if what I was feeling won't gonna last until tomorrow at all? 

Maybe I was just out of my mind.

Then, I finally decided to just write it all down on my diary...if that helps!

Saturday

Okay! So maybe I overreacted a little with what I was thinking about over the last three days. Yesterday, I figured it all out—and yes, I was just completely out of my mind...I guess.

So, Finn isn't really my next crush—I'm not crushing on anybody right now at all. It was all just an intrusive thought. I guess what happened last Wednesday night was that I got a little curious about the guy. Though I am completely aware that he's a friend of mine now, somehow I found myself getting all curious about the person in secret.

Maybe I was just happy about hanging out with him and his dog after school at their place, so I guess that's why I couldn't stop having those thoughts of him.

But I am making it all clear now; Finn Wolfhard is not my crush.

He's just a guy friend of mine.

Well, I still haven't told Avery about all this—I just don't feel like telling her about it; she and the girls already teased me about Finn a couple of times. I don't really have to tell her, again, it was all just a thought. The crush isn't happening at all.

Today, Avery and I were going to come over to Ayla's place to watch the band practice. Luckily, Avery's schedule wasn't packed this time.

I know, Finn was going to be around, but I had it all under control. It was all okay, I already discarded all those weird thoughts I had of Finn. I kept listening to "City Boy" again and again for the last couple of days. Well, it did bother me last Thursday, but after that I guess I just liked the song—nothing else was significant to me.

Anyway, we it through the band practice. We were down in Ayla's basement where they would usually jam. In between breaks Ayla would offer us some snacks or we would listen to some cool music she got.

Well, Finn and I yet did interact normally. Thanfully all those thoughs had gone away and I did not feel weird around the guy. I guess I was just happy about this budding friendship I'm having with him. I really think he's a fun guy to hang with—we get each other a lot.

I survived the day without thinking about the whole thing that happened three days ago. It all just gone back to normal.

It was just a thought...