Shaadi Yaa Barbaadi

24

4 months later

Sidharth reached the home at 10 p.m. It was quite early for him to reach home at this time but its now getting normal for him as he has been coming home at this time from past three months. His coat hanging on his hand and tie loosely hanging on his neck. His hairs were now messy as he ran his hand into them lazily.

As he got inside Mrs Shukla asked him for food which he denied simply. He did not feel to have dinner today. Its quite usual for him to skip meals leading to a bit of weight loss for him. He still had that perfect body but still his face looked blank and unwell. His eyes had dark circles and the reason was insomnia. He couldn't sleep at night. But he still looked handsome in his dense beard look. Looked like he didn't shave from 1-2 months.

Reaching to his room , his empty face turned into a smile , a small one but he definitely looked relaxed seeing his jaan . She lied on the bed still sleeping from past four months not caring how much he misses her and how much he wants her to wake up. But she is so stubborn. She just loves to sleep. Wires attached to her body . He moved towards her as he bent down to kiss her forehead and then looked at the machines to see some differences. But there weren't any . The machines showed no progress making him chuckle sadly. Atleast she is breathing. She is there . It is the only hope for him that she is alive. And he will wait for her till his last breath..

"Kab uthogi tum Shehnaaz....bohot besabri se intezaar hai tumhara" , he said sadly and slowly.

He settled on the table infront of her and took her free hand in his hands kissing them lightly and telling her about his day. So what is she doesn't ask how his day went , he can tell her himself.
After looking at her figure for a quite long time calmly, he got up throwing his coat on the couch carelessly. His back facing her as he took off his tie and then unbuttoned the shirt throwing it carelessly

"Shehnaaz... you know I have brought so many chocolates and gifts for you across the countries.. Ab to main jaldi ghar bhi aane laga hoon. I am trying to become an ideal husband. Also I am regularly meeting my psychiatrist so that I have a control over my anger. Bas tumhara intezaar hai mujhe...kab uthogi yaar tum
I miss your endless talks a lot...", he spoke normally as if she is listening to his talks keenly. He developed so many new habits for her , but still she didn't cared any less. She just slept like that from the past months. He kept talking to her for a long time and then went inside the washroom to change into comfortable clothes.

After changing into his comfortable wear , he came out wiping his hairs from the towel. Taking his laptop he worked a bit and then  took his medicines so that he gets much needed sleep. He gazed on her until he fell asleep. The lights still on dimly on as she feared from dark....

****

"Sidharth... If you don't wish to go to Italy.. tell me I will go", Shourya spoke coming to his cabin . Sidharth who was fully engrossed in his work didn't pay much attention to his words.

"Sidharth...are you listening?", Shourya spoke unbelievably.

"Hmm", sidharth spoke. Seems he isn't interested in talking much. But who knows how he is inside the four walls of his room where only he talks , and talks .

"Are you going to Italy", Shourya asked again trying to maintain patience

"Yeah...I will go...but usse pehle I need to see Shehnaaz...today is her checkup..", Sidharth spoke as he typed on his laptop furiously..

"Sidharth...har hafte checkup karane se kuch ho raha hai kya.... She has 10 percent chances of waking up... Why are just drowning yourself into her when you don't even know when will she get up...or even she will get up or not?", Shourya said trying to make him understand that he needs to become strong. In case of her specially. Everyone wants her to wake up , but they all are aware of the truth that there is no assurity that she will wake up. They all are living with that truth. But in case of Sidharth , he is lagging behind. He is still living his life like 4 months ago. The only difference his life has , is Shehnaaz not replying to his talks otherwise he still takes chocolates and bouquet for her , he still makes sure that she isn't alone in her room in dark as she fears darkness , he still gives her lectures on her career.

"I don't remember asking you if She will wake up or not", Sidharth cut him off as he replied sarcastically to his brother who just shaked his head in disappointment and went away.

Sidharth's pov

How should I forget caring about her when I know she is my careless baby. So what if she has 10 percent chances of waking up. I know she will. One day. And I have manifested this already. For people it is easy to say , get strong , be ready to hear such bad news. But do they know how do I feel. Can they feel my pain. How does it feels when you know , your love is with you , listening to your talks but not replying to you and you can't even do anything.
Even the doctors also told me to not keep any hopes . But still I hope she will wake up one day and Say " Sidharthh mujhe bahar ghumane le chalo na". Atleast we are under the same sky.

That day , I understood how much she means to me. How much her presence means to me. I was broken into pieces that day when the doctors told me that maybe shehnaaz won't wake up again. But still I am trying to pick up my broken pieces and keeping them together. How can I loose hope. Atleast she has some chances. And I know , this won't happen to me.

After a long day I decided to go back home. Before , my work was my therapy. My mood used to get better while working. But now , it doesn't even work. The place only where I get peace is when I look at Shehnaaz. I won't even get bored if I sit there looking at her for hours.

The only question I have is , when will she stop being soo stubborn and wake up , listen to my explanation. I know she is angry at me as I misbehaved with her that day , but do I deserve such a big punishment. Its already four months , how much she will punish me. But one thing she made me realise was , never ever take something so lightly. I took our fight as a normal fight between husband and wife. But now I regret it so badly. I shouldn't have shouted on her , or I should have asked for forgiveness before it was too late. This fucking thing kills me everyday that she is in this state because of me. If we didn't fight, she must have been all okay giving the exam and coming back...

tu naseebon sa mere haathon pe shuru se likhaa hai
mera haq hai too aasmaanon se muje jodta hai

***
Ignore mistakes :)
Will update again...if I get time ❤️