Black Glass

Chapter 2

There was a time five years ago when I once breathed easier. When I was not bored. But the world was laughing. The universe continued to enjoy its vile joke at my expense. I closed my eyes as the waiters harshly escorted me from the building and I heard a phone call being placed to an ambulance. The elation of what I'd done back in the restaurant had already begun to fade. The reset button had been hit. I tried to deny it with the effort of my will alone. I removed myself from all that surrounded me and for a blissful moment I was taken back to my room. I could actually feel its beating, black heart and smell the fresh blood in the air. The sickly-sweet smell of blood was one the mind could not forget, and appreciation of it required a desire to spill it. My mind fixated on that room with an obsession, but I could not remain there. The phantoms left as quickly as they came.

"Damon!"

I snapped out of my reminiscing and reluctantly turned to Aria beside me.

"I apologise. What did you want to tell me before we were rudely interrupted?"

I noticed that she seemed to be upset with me.

"What's the matter?"

She bit her lip, "What the hell was that? You really scared me!"

I shrugged, "He deserved it did he not?"

She stopped walking. I faced her.

"I'm not talking about that..."

She looked away.

"I saw you, Damon...the look on your face."

"What look? What are you talking about?" I asked.

"You liked it...what you did to that man."

What did it matter if I did? It changed neither the result nor the action itself.

"Aria, let's go to my place."

She shook her head. I almost sighed out loud. I was not in the mood for her petty feelings.

"What do you want to do?" I asked.

She looked at me with a peculiar expression. What now? There was nothing more to be said.

"I can take you home," I offered hoping that would rectify the situation.

"It's okay," she said and muffled a goodbye.

I watched her go with no urge to stop her. I kept my eyes on her until she disappeared into her car in the parking area. I dismissed her from my thoughts effective immediately. I would deal with her emotional issues at a later stage. I knew I could have sweet-talked her, but I wasn't interested in making the effort. I looked up at the sky. My mind torturously wandered back in time, back to my marvellous pit. Like it always did. Pining over my great love. The ferocious ecstasy. What I once had. Too much precious time had come and gone; nothing but a relentless downpour of loose, meaningless memories. Had it truly been years since I had last felt alive? Had I really done nothing but wade through existence without purpose? How had I allowed it to continue? I searched for answers in the stars but they gave me none. I knew the reason why I had felt sadness earlier in the night. I always knew. I could no longer suppress it. I wanted to carve, cut, strike and break. I craved the power that I once commanded. Being without it ate me alive. I missed it. Desperately I did.

I searched for a justification or excuse for why I did not raise my blade once more. I found nothing. And so, I wandered without much cause or thought. A pair of kids ran past me screaming in delight while their parents chased after them in perpetual worry. A stranger on the street tried to offer me a pamphlet advertising some concert. Some street performers nearby played an emotional, African harmony consisting of a Djembe, a local drum and a Balafon, which was like a xylophone, captivating the precious few who took the minutes out of their day to behold their tune. Cars burst past me as the streets buzzed. And I felt more lost within it than before.