Ranting

Sorry

So as y'all know I started publishing these short stuff and all and I'm so sorry that I haven't been publishing for a few weeks but I've been going through a really tough time right now

So at the end of may, a month ago on Sunday, my Granmother died. I knew it was coming sooner rather than later because she had dementia and was sick for a month before she passed but I was oblivious to the fact it was going to be so soon, she was sick many times over the past 2 years that she has been in a nursing home. It has been really hard to see her in the nursing home because I saw her get worse and then I didn't visit for a few months then when I visited her again, she didn't know who I was.

So a month ago tomorrow , I was told that my grandmother had gotten worse and she was in a coma, I stupidly thought she would be fine but obviously I was wrong. That day after school, I went to visit her and I cried a lot seeing her like that but I got to give her a soft hug and a kiss on the cheek and I got to tell her that I loved her, I didn't know that that was my last words to her but they were.

The next day at school, it was my last day of classes and I was sick to my stomach all day, in every class we had a party and k just sat there and in a few classes I started to cry by accident because my parents told me my grandmother probably wouldn't get better. I tried to enjoy that day as best as I could but I just couldn't and all I wanted to do was see my granny because my mum said she would take me after school.

When I got home my mum wasn't back from seeing my grandmother and I just wanted to go up to see her. When my mum got home we all gave her a hug as usual and then I sat on the floor to rub my dog. Then my mum told all of us to come in for a group hug and I knew something happened because we never do that, then she told us that my gran died and I bawled.

I cry a lot since it happened. I also stay awake each night to see if the clouds go away to see if I can see the stars because I've always been
told that the brightest star in the sky was a person that died recently so it brings me comfort that when I look to the sky, I can see my gran looking down at me from heaven.

The reason why I'm telling you all this is because none of my friends noticed that I was crying any of the times, none of them knew how quiet I was compared to usual and they always give out to me because I'm too loud, none of them checked in to see if I was ok (other than one girl and she's kind of my best friend but she's in a different friend group because she left mine) so please please is you notice your friend being more quiet than usual or if you know that they lost someone they love, please check up on them every few days or every day.

Sorry for the rant I just needs to get it out