Oath of the Hunter

4 - No Matter What

The rest of the day passes in a blur. I keep myself busy working with Rowan, Beau, Morgan and Lachlan, going over the pack's defences and making sure their security is airtight. The last thing I want is to leave my new home vulnerable to attack when I'm gone— especially given how much they sacrificed to help me back when Orion, Liliana and my mother descended with fury in their eyes and silver daggers in their grips, ready to tear this pack to shreds to make me pay for what I did to Myles.

An unpleasant shiver scuttles down my spine at the reminder. I don't regret what I did to Myles. Not when Orion shot my sister in the head for a bite that Rowan suspects would have simply healed if given the chance. Not when Myles tried to throw her body on a pile of burning werewolves before she'd even gone cold. Ferreus hunters are blinded by the legacy they cling to. I had been like that, too, until losing Esme snapped me out of that delusion.

I've killed people — innocent people — under the guise of that silver-choked legacy and name. Nothing can change that. Nothing can bring them back. Nothing can excuse the choices I made back when I thought there was no other way. But I can stop the Ferreus hunters from hurting any more innocent werewolves. I can stop them from killing any more people who don't deserve that fate— just like Esme didn't deserve it.

Matteo doesn't want to delay the journey to his former pack. He says it's a day's drive away, at least, and he wants to be on the road as soon as possible.

I must admit, I'm equally eager for a fight and dreading the idea of living amongst new werewolves. It took a lot for me to trust Rowan and his pack enough to feel comfortable here in their presence, and just when I've settled, that cursed duty within me longs to venture out of this comfort zone. Help Matteo with his hunter problem, then face my own hunter problem. Rid Teo's old pack of their enemies and turn my focus to the true threat.

When we arrive, I'll be closer to my old home than I ever wanted to be. When I turned my back and ran, all I wanted was to live apart from them. Now I'm returning of my own free will to take them out.

I don't have a plan, and that's the worst part. Every time I try and think of one, it falls apart in my hands, and I'm reminded again and again just how bad of an idea this is. It's dangerous and reckless and I'm putting Rowan's life at risk as well as my own. Lachlan, Matteo, and Kay's lives, too.

And yet, the thought of staying here, of burying my head in the sand until they find us, feels even worse. I'm caught between two nightmares, not knowing which is more damning. To die fighting or to be caught off-guard.

I want my fate — and my death — to be under my own control, not theirs.

The clothes I'm shoving into a backpack bear the brunt of my frustrations. Outside, the sun sinks towards the mountainous borders of Crescent Valley, casting sharp, jagged shadows across the hardwood floor. Golden sunlight spills across the bed sheets.

"You don't have to come with me," I blurt out, raising my gaze to Rowan.

He stands on the other side of our bed, folding jumpers and tucking them away into another bag with a hell of a lot more care than I'm displaying. His dark eyes lift to mine, flickering with something timid— embers shying away from harsh winds. He's leaving his home for me. The thought is a dagger in my gut, twisting and writhing. For his sake, I cannot mess this up.

"I know," he says, his melodic voice seeping through my mind like silk. Even without trying, he has my full attention. "But I promised you I'm with you, no matter what you choose. As long as you want me by your side, that's where I'll be."

I swallow thickly, a little choked at the devotion blazing in his eyes and lacing its way into his tone. His trust in me is unshakeable, even despite the numerous close calls— first with my suspicions and then with my Haze.