Oath of the Hunter

23 - Absolutely Not

"No," Rowan says at once, a hard edge to his voice that I'm not used to hearing. He stares up at me, anguish fracturing his eyes, and guilt spears through my chest. "Absolutely not."

"You think I want this?" I retort, backing up firmly into my comfort zone. My chest feels tight at the mere thought of asking for help from the very people I wanted to avoid at all costs, but I know I have no choice. "I want them dead, Rowan, but killing them isn't worth losing you. Nothing is worth that. And if we face these monsters without them, I'll lose you."

He shakes his head and sits up. When he speaks, his voice is fragile. "River, please. Not them. Anyone but them."

"It has to be them. There's no one else who can kill these things," I insist. I need him to understand. I need him to back me up. He's voicing my own thoughts and I can't let him convince me otherwise with that silky voice fractured with horror, with those bronze eyes liquid with hurt.

"We can try again, coordinate our attacks, focus on one at a time— please, love, don't do this," he rushes out, desperate.

I shake my head. "I'm not taking that chance with you. If I lose you, I... I don't know what I'll become. I can't—" I cut myself off and take a steadying breath.

"You think they'll rush in here to help us?" he counters. "They want you dead, River. They want us all dead."

"I know that—"

"We can make contact with more packs," he forges on, determination strengthening his tone. "They'll help us — they have to — and we'll get close enough. We can kill them on our own—"

"Rowan."

He falters, catching my gaze, and I can see cracks of despair in his dark eyes. "What makes you think they won't kill us all the moment they see us? What makes you think they won't kill you?"

"Because I know them," I insist. "They won't be able to let the idea of these lycanthropes go, I'm certain. I can suggest a truce — a ceasefire — until the lycans are dead, and then we can catch them off-guard." In truth, I have no idea what their reaction will be. I only know they value the hunt above all else, and I have to hope the lycanthropes are a bigger threat than me and the wolves.

"I'm not willing to take that chance, love. Not with you."

"I am. It's our only chance. I can't kill the lycans, Rowan. Not on my own. Not when it puts you at risk. Believe me, I hate this as much as you do. I know what they're like. I know that if I go there and they see me alive, they won't let it go. But they'll hear me out. I... I can convince them to hold off from killing me until the lycanthropes are dead."

"And then what?" he retorts. "They won't let you leave alive."

I shrug and drop his gaze. "If those lycans take out a few of them instead of you, it's worth it. Two birds, one stone." I take a deep, shaky breath and say, "I brought you and the others into danger because I couldn't let my hatred for them go. I need to put aside that hatred before I get you killed." Stubborn tears streak down my cheeks and I hastily wipe them away. "You almost died, last night, Rowan. I almost lost you, and I... I'm scared that the next time we face them, they'll take you from me. I can't do this alone. I need you with me, and I need you safe."

Rowan shakes his head, his golden eyes glistening. "River, you can't. Not them. Anyone but them. I know what they've done to you, and I can't stand you becoming indebted to them. We'll find another way. Any other way."

"We tried the other way, and I almost lost you. Milo's dead, Darius and Imogen are giving up. This is our only option. We need help, Rowan. Please, trust me."