The women's basketball teams locker-waiting room lights seemed to dim a bit as both Paige and Nika walked over and sat on the couch, with me in the middle of the two. I could feel their nervous energy crackling in the air.
This wasn't how I envisioned them ending their 'post-practice' smoothie run. I've been friends with both girls since the beginning of Junior year at UCONN. I got accepted studying Pathobiology, and had a few classes with some of the girls on the basketball team, that's how I started hanging out with the whole team. They are all so sweet, funny and pretty chill to hang out with, but I can say, I'm closest to three of them, that being Azzi Fudd, Nika Mühl and Paige Bueckers.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
[O.O.T.D]
Earlier in the day, Nika called me and asked if I wanted to join both her and Paige to get some smoothies after their workout session at the gym, I obviously agreed cause they're buying but I didn't expect us to go back to the gym.
I also never noticed how recently, the past six months with these two were filled with stolen glances, whispered jokes, and late-night texts, which culminated into this...awkward standoff.
"Okay," I said after taking a sip of my smoothie, breaking the silence. "Just spit it out, and tell me what's wrong.?"
I get comfortable on the couch in the room, i turn to see the gym opposite us, it looks fairly empty, seeing as most of the team and employees have gone home. I'd rather be on my bed, watching Teen-wolf and eating cookie-dough ice cream.
Paige stepped forward, and sat beside me on my right, taking my hands in her, rubbing her thumb on mine, in a soothing pattern, knowing that it always makes me feel calm. "Ammie." She began, her voice tight, "the both of us, we..." i see her glancing at Nika, who offered a small yet helpless shrug before moving to sit on my left, giving us room so we aren't too close, but not too far.
Nika who's usually the more outspoken one of the two, seemed to shrink under Paige's gaze. "We just wanted to tell you, that...we care about you."
Nika finally mumbled, kicking at the floor with the toe of her sneakers.
"Yeah, I know that. I care about you too." I say, wondering why they're acting so strange. I pick up my smoothie from its place on the ground and started sipping it again.
"No, baby. We care about you...more than a friend."
"Oh." I choke, bits of the smoothie spilling out of my mouth. My heart hammered a frantic rhythm against my ribs. This wasn't a scenario I'd ever imagined, not with these two UCONN basketball stars. Both girls have great characteristics, that make me feel special, like I'm the only one that matters.
"So..." I said, trying to keep my voice steady, "What, you're both saying that your in-love with me, or something?"
I start to laugh a bit but stop once I saw the look on their faces. Wow, didn't expect that, why me though, I'm not anything special. Paige took a deep breath. "Not necessarily in-love, yet, but we like you, a lot, Ammie. We know it's crazy, but it just happened." She shot a sympathetic look at Nika, who gave a weak nod.
"We never expected to fall for you, especially at the same time, but we did and we couldn't deny just how much we care about you, individually." Nika adds as I just sit there silently.
"Crazy isn't the word I'd use." I admitted, surprised by the calmness in my own voice. "More like...confusing."
The next hour was a blur of emotions, both girls spoke about why they fell for me, and how. And why I should give each of them a chance, or both of them. I have never in my wildest dreams thought about dating a girl, now to even consider choosing between two, or being with both, now that's crazy. I like Paige and Nika, I really do, more than either of them would ever realise but I'm scared, of ruining their friendship, our friendship, over this. I can't loose them.
"Look guys." I spoke up, needing a break from the intensity. "I appreciate this, truly. But I need some time to process all of it, so you think we just...table this for a bit?"
They exchanged a hesitant glance, the disappointment evident on their faces. "Of course." Paige said softly.
Nika adjust herself on the couch, squeezing my hand. "Take all the time you need, Ammie."
With that, I looked at my smoothie in hand, suddenly tired of drinking it. After seeing me off to my car, the ride back to my dorm was too silent, to say the least. I would be in denial if I said i wasn't a bit happy that the feelings I've harboured for a while were reciprocated, and by two of the most incredible women I knew.
But a more cautious side of me balked at the idea of navigating a relationship with one of them, I end up with one and leave the other heartbroken. The potential drama, whispers in the locker room, in the hallways, the strain it could put on their own friendship – it all threatened to overshadow the sweet beginnings of what could be.
Parking my car and walking up to my dorm room, I unlocked the door, a familiar voice startled me. My best friend, and loving room mate Chloe, was sprawled out on my bed, my laptop, playing 'Suites', a tub of cookie dough ice cream abandoned beside her.
"Rough smoothie run?" she asked
One look at Chloe's sympathetic gaze, and the dam broke. I spilled everything, and I mean everything to her. From the confusion, to the unexpected confessions, and the overwhelming weight of the decision before me.
As I spoke, Chloe listened intently, occasionally interjecting a thoughtful question or throwing a comforting arm around my shoulder. By the time I finished, the ice cream tub was empty and a new perspective had begun to take shape.
"Look" Chloe said, wiping a stray tear from my cheek, "you really don't have to rush into anything. Take your time, figure out what feels right for you. But remember, neither Paige or Nika would've have put themselves out there like that if they weren't serious. Both of them respect you enough to face the potential awkwardness, the competition, because their feelings are real. You just take your time, choose who you really want to be with, or...you could just be with both of them.
Her words struck a chord. Paige and Nika's vulnerability, their willingness to risk their friendship for a chance with me, deserved a thoughtful response. Maybe there wasn't a perfect answer.
