The Diary of Paris' Most Beloved Educator | Miraculous

Troubles

15th February, 2014

Dear diary,
                      Gisèle wasn't actually too badly hungover, so today could have gotten off to a worse start than it did.
   I've had more time than I did last year to just..think. As I was thinking, I thought about yesterday. I thought about Chloé Bourgeois, an eighth grader. And my thoughts just kind of spiralled.
   Chloé is a stereotypical mean rich kid. It's a private school, you're bound to come across some kids like Chloé here and there. Believe me, there were a few when I attended this school too. But what makes her stand out is her parents, namely her father. He is actually the Mayor of Paris. I disagree with a lot of his choices at times but if it isn't really harming anyone then I don't see how it should matter. I can also acknowledge that Chloé's spiteful, bratty nature is due to her upbringing. Her mother, fashionista Audrey Bourgeois, isn't the nicest person. She is actually quite negligent to Chloé from what I have observed, and I'm fairly certain she got pregnant with another child from a different man some time within the year Chloé was born. So despite her rich upbringing, there are clearly some other factors, more troubled ones at that, that add to why she is how she is. And I know it's a reason and a way to understand her rather than an excuse, which is why I think I can show her that kindness is the right way, and want her to make that change for herself. Of course, I know for when she takes it further that I need to give some form of punishment.
   ...But, on that note, the Mayor's biggest flaw affects this school, and has been going on since I can remember. As much as I like to try and see the good in her, I cannot deny the fact that Chloé is rather spoiled, as I told you. Always with incredibly expensive new things, showing them off and making fun of the people she isn't happy with at that point in time for not having things as expensive. She is also quite the bully. Can you take a guess where this will end up going?
   I can see past Chloé's petty, catty and bratty nature, because that part of her sometimes slips. I don't think there's any such thing as a completely irredeemable person, or at the very least not a lot of them, but especially not a thirteen year old girl. Every bad person should be capable of change in one way or another, you just have to show them the right example so they can want it for themselves. With Chloé, I can see we're taking the right steps to get there. Sometimes we take steps back, sure, but more often than not we make some sort of progress. But even so, her biggest problem is her bullying, particularly when it comes to her classmate, Marinette Dupain-Cheng. Now, very rarely does Chloé actally act up at all in my classroom, so I am unaware of the extent to which her bullying goes. Is it mere teasing and catty jabs, or is it physical? I highly doubt it is, she isn't that cruel, but my point is that I really just don't know how far it can go. I don't know what she does when I'm not there to see it. What makes this even worse is how she uses her father's position to threaten us teachers for punishing her, and her father threatens us too. I'm feeling really conflicted about this. On one hand, I want to give Chloé the punishment she'd deserve for whatever it is I see her do, because it isn't right to let her get away with it. I should be able to get fired from my job with my head held high knowing I did the right thing, right? But it isn't so easy, you see. If I'm no longer there, I worry that the environment will  become more unsafe. I won't know what will happen, and I know the students will be really upset to see me go for such reasons. I won't be able to stop anything else.
   You can't imagine the guilt I feel, knowing Chloé is just being allowed to do these things, and if I punish her, I'll lose the job I love so dearly, and it will most likely only get more difficult for the other students, especially poor Marinette. I don't know which is the right thing. I'm not able to punish her, all I can do is talk to her after an incident and try to show her the right example so she can want to be a kinder person, but it isn't all I should be doing, and I know that far too well. But what else can I do? I put on the image that Chloé just needs to be shown this example of kindness, and while I do genuinely think that is what is needed, I know it is all I can do, and I know it's mostly just some sort of mask I put on to protect my job.
   I feel stuck, and helpless, and conflicted. I don't know what I want to do, and no amount of talking to Olga and Denis can give me any answers. 

   I know this is a bit..deep, I suppose, for a second entry, much less just after my birthday. But, hey, it's my diary and I shall do as I like.
   To end on a happier note, I spent a lot of today just with Gisèle and Sorrel. Yesterday was...a bit draining, to say the least, so it was nice to just wind down. Mostly just cuddling and giggling, but we did take Sorrel on his daily walk around the block. Again, just really nice to wind down after a particularly busy Friday.

   -Sincerely, Caline Bustier