(Wind Breaker) The Green Rose's Thorns

Part 38

"I-"

"Just..anything. Even if you can't treat me the same after what you found out. Even if you find it gross or cringe or wrong. At least look at me," Aoi's voice squeaked out that last part. The part he desperately had been holding back, that he didn't want to say no matter what. His eyes closed as he said it, face flushing red over the bridge of his nose with a burning hatred at his own weakness.

"I don't..hate you. Or think you're gross or weird," Suo was more composed, though just barely. He could hear so little over the pounding of his own heart in his ears. If he was going to face Aoi at all, this was the time. He knew that. He knew he had to face himself at the same time, and he was far from steady as he stepped closer and raised a shaky hand to Aoi's shoulder. His fingertips brushed past the loose strands of hair, tracing the shoulder blades and pulling the boy's body even closer. Until Aoi was fully wrapped into his arms, pulling the boy's face into his chest.

"Then..what?," Aoi's voice was hardly more than a whisper as he pleaded for an answer. Suo felt his heart sink even further, then a little flutter as Aoi wrapped his arms around his waist and his fingers pulled at the material of his shirt. He felt his cheeks warming up despite the dire nature of their situation there on the stairwell, his body reacting a little too strongly where Aoi's nails scraped his back where he pulled his shirt into his balled up fists.

"I'm sorry," Suo swallowed his pride and apologized with everything he had. Aoi was a shaky soggy mess in his arms, and the thought that he was the reason overpowered every last shred of indecision that had been plaguing him the past few weeks. He had to say it, even if it was a jumbled mess he just had to get the thoughts out of his head. So he spilled his guts while Aoi choked back his sobs and tried his best to listen.

"I'm sorry. I've been...scared. Of losing you. I don't want the others to get hurt either, but I can't..I wouldn't know what to do if something happened and you were gone for good," Suo hoped his words reached his friend. More than his friend at this point, but saying that wasn't going to be any easier than this was. Even so, he pressed on, willing his voice to work even though his throat burned and ached with the weight of his words.

"I've been selfish, I know. I made you make that promise, but it wasn't just for your sake. It was because I didn't want to see you like that. I didn't want you to do something you'd regret, or worse to get hurt so bad you couldn't be fixed up by Kotoha. I didn't want you to fight, or get hurt. I thought I could handle those things for you, but that's not the world we live in. Asking you not to fight, it's not fair at all is it?," Suo felt the sting of tears as he reached his limit.

The two of them stayed like that until their raging hearts slowed to an almost normal pace and the rivers of tears became more manageable drops. Aoi took several measured breaths in an attempt to fully stop his bawling, pushing back just enough that he could wipe at his face in a futile attempt to dry his eyes. Suo's mind was nearly blank, and he moved more on reflex than anything else. Reaching up toward Aoi's face, pulling his arm down to his side then once again reaching up. He brushed the tear streaks away, uncurling his fingers and cupping Aoi's cheek in his hand. Aoi's gaze flicked up for just half a second, then back down toward his reddening cheeks as his face was pulled upward.

Suo felt like he was about to burst into flames, his body was so hot in that moment. Aoi felt about the same way, sucking in a breath and holding it there as Suo's face inched closer and closer to his own. There was a hurricane of emotion in Suo's brown eyed, soul piercing gaze as his nose slid beside Aoi's. Just before their lips could meet, Aoi's fingertips slid into that millimeter wide gap and held him off. It wasn't an outright denial or rejection, judging by the matching currents raging under the surface of Aoi's green eyes as he very briefly returned Suo's stare.

"No more death flags before the raid boss," Aoi's voice cracked again, low and gravelly after his tear-streaked tirade. Suo felt his breath on his lips through the tiny gaps of his fingers, sending a rush over his body as he backed up that made him dizzy and light. The two of them stayed locked together like that a little bit longer, neither wanting to let go but both drowning in whole new sets of feelings.

The weight of the words they had said, the way their voices cracked and peaked as they blurted them out one after the next. The burning, prickling sensation of their own skin as it all settled in. The varying pressure where one's hands met the other's body. Worse still, the full gravity of what might as well have been a double confession and first kiss there on the staircase. Just out of sight, out of earshot, of their classmates down the hall or up on the rooftop. All of it replayed in their minds as they were locked in a silent conversation with their eyes. An understanding as each wave crashed over the two of them there, hands slowly finding new purchase as their bodies relaxed somewhat.

A loud shriek from the rooftop startled them both, and they ripped apart with slam of the metal door as several bodies spilled down the staircase. Tsubaki led the herd, nearly forgetting about the other two there until he skidded to a stop on the last step before the landing.

"Started raining. We're meeting in a different spot," Seiryuu explained, poking his head out from behind Tsubaki's broad shoulders and studying the faces of the two he and his brother locked away earlier.