Idk why I'm writing my trauma here I should write it in the note app
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Damn it hurts bad
Here I am with my trauma again
It hurts when your own parents say bad about behind your or in front of your face
I have been experiencing it for the past few months
I am tired of my fucking life
I have very good friends I'm blessed
But - I have no will to live now
I'm tired of my family
I'm tired of their daily drama
This traumatic life
Their toxic behaviour
They don't let me go outside
I can't see my friends because they are older than me and they have heard some bad rumours about them from my toxic lil sister
My parents are psychopaths
Like fucking psychopaths
They don't love me
They don't respect me
The only thing I get from them Is money technically like they fulfill my financial needs that's it all I get from my is that I get to live in a house with good facilities food and a toxic family trauma on trips , taunting
According to my mother I'm always wrong
So I say some truth that is wrong according to her so she will say thousands of inappropriate things to me all i could do is sometimes speak back sometimes shut up
She hates me i don't know why no mother hates their child and because of her toxic behaviour i try to avoid her but she says that I hate her that's why I don't sit with her
Damnn what the actual fuck
I cried while writing it
In my childhood
I was always scolded and beaten up by my father
Yeah I was like 9 after that probably that man started this like he used a belt ,stick
Slapped me pushed me to the wall that made me fall on the ground
And push my head towards the wall so it gets hurt
My parents gave me suicidal thoughts for 24/7
They annoy me like they turned off the fucking wifi while I had to do my holiday homework when I said that he said "i don't care"
I begged him he never listens
So I have toxic parents and a traumatising childhood
My mother thinks I am villain in her life
She tells me things like
Go and die (I got low grades)
Go and die somewhere on a random fight
I don't wanna see your face i want some peace
Why are you here in my room?
Damn I don't have a personal room most of the time my father is in the lower portion of the house and my mother is in the upper portion where I am supposed to go then even I don't wanna see their faces
Like I do the chores too that she tells me to
I cook and I help her with many things yeah sometimes I'm a little lazy so she starts taunting
Today I'm really broken
My bf suggested me that maybe I should do some online job because I'm fucking tired i dont wanna live with them I wanna go far away and never come back to them i don't wanna see their face
A fun fact once a time I saved their names in contact like Mata ji and pita ji
I instantly regretted my decision
Then after that I named pain in ass 1
Pain in ass 2 stupid bitch it's been months don't really regret it and yeah I am a bad Child thats okay but they don't deserve respect every human deserves respect and love from parents 💔I'm just a average student I don't know how to do or what to do but I have to do something if my bf wasn't here I would have died I don't want the society to think that my parents are wrong they are but I don't wanna ruin their name by committing suicide
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I wanna know I am wrong or them
Please tell me