The Hell I overcame

Part 7- I hate you.

I pace back and forth the lengths of the kitchen, deciding my bands fate, as the lead singer i've somehow been appointed a leader of sorts, naturally taking the role without properly registering it.

"come on, you have to decide soon!" Jason chimes in
"yeah Jace is right the deadline is tomorrow" Blake adds
"ignore the boys sweetie, take your time, make sure you're happy with whatever you decide" Haley whispers

it all adds up and after a couple more minutes of silence i blurt it out.

"lets do it" i say, firmly, trying to convince myself that i wont regret this

the band cheers and the girls walk off to make the phone call.

since they're out for the day i decide to head to the studio again, it helps to clear my head nowadays and helps me avoid a repeat of a while back when i didn't leave my room.

I park my car outside the studio and convince myself to just go in and speak to Bryan.

"sorry darling, fully booked up until 11pm tonight" he replies sympathetically

"oh right, by who?" i ask

"that tall one you don't like" he says sheepishly

"of course it is" i reply, "ill be back at 11 then Bryan, see you later" i say while waving goodbye to which he smiles.

Just as i walk out of the exit, i hear Noah storm out of the studio swearing and clearly frustrated, I wonder what thats about.

I head back home and find countless pointless ways of passing the time, i write lyrics, draw, even clean and end up just flopping on my bed in defeat listening to the clock ticking by.

Finally it gets to 10:30 and i leave the house, my band mates either asleep or busy. I quickly and quietly leave the apartment and drive up to the studio, only one light is on so i assume Bryan left it on for me.

I walk into the recording booth and stop in my tracks when i hear voices.

Noah's still there. He seems calmer at least, every thought possible whirls in my mind, should i just leave? but I'm curious and want to stay. But what would he do if he caught me?  

fuck it.

i peel open the door and close it quietly, he doesn't hear me thankfully and i hide behind the mirror, multiple empty beer bottles line the cabinet behind him. He's drunk. i wonder if he's ever done this before.

He starts to sing and theres a lot of emotion is his voice, something i didn't think possible.

"oh, did you really think the pain, would send me to an early grave?
did you think i couldn't break these chains?
After all the hell i overcame?"

Noah begins to tear up from the mention of his past in the lyrics, i watch as they full turn to tears, the reaction concerns me as he takes another swig of his beer. All of his fans think he's perfect but he is a mess, he should let someone in. He needs to.

Noah still remains agitated, gaining more so by the minute and the feeling of impending doom creeps in, what am i doing? i shouldn't be here, i slowly begin to back away towards the door realising that i may make it out unnoticed until i trip and knock a mic stand, making enough noise for Noah to hear it.

oh shit.

The studio door flies open and his face contorts into pure rage when he sees me.

"what the fuck!?" he yells

i'm in for it now.