Bound for Never

NOT YET ALIVE

JUDE'S POV:
I am drowning, I am far over my head. I am falling. I am dying. What is the matter with you? I snap at myself, What could anyone have possibly done so terribly that you're  worrying like this?

"Jude?" Once again, Cardan's voice brings me back like at the revel, "We'll be alright."
"I hope so," I respond. But the distaste colouring his tone makes it hard to believe. He turns away, muttering something like
"Lower courts. So fucking pathetic,"
I get another uncalled for flashback like memory.

I heard from Taryn that on the second day of my exile, Locke was with Cardan. He asked him if he'd like an 'escort' to join him in his chambers.
"I would not," Cardan said panicky.
"Sure?" Locke asked.
"I- I said I would not. I would not -" and he started vigorously swearing, eyes darting around the room.

Or at least that's what Taryn told me.
All my practice with the Court of Shadows is leading me to one conclusion:
"Kill them," I say.

Cardan runs a hand through his raven black hair, exasperated, "My love, murder is not the answer to everything. Not one key fits every lock! Please see some sense!"
I remember how cruel Cardan was to me. But there was a day when I was spying in Hollow Hall and came across him enduring his beating from Balekin.
"My one virtue is that I am not a murderer," he said.

I guess some things never change.

"Will someone please tell her?" He asks everyone at the high table.

The Roach and the Bomb snicker, carrying the weight of a hundred royal assassinations on Prince Dain's orders.
Taryn's face flushes. She's always been the calm and delicate out of the two of us. But she killed Locke, so.
And Viviene, who rarely comes here, has been waiting half her life to put Madoc to the ground.
And our war General, Grima Mog. She's actually eaten fae before. She has no limits.
Our High Court also has a specific blood-lust to watch people suffer.
The Ghost sends me a knowing look, he taught me one of my first murders.

"I realise I will get no help here," Cardan says bitterly.
I should at least try to see things from his point of view.
"Capture them, then?" I say, trying to compromise.
He idly bites his lip and nods, "We could hurt them if they don't give us information,"

Everyone in Elfhame just seems to like inflicting pain. That's sadist.

But that only means, the people with the information work with the shadows.
The spies.
The liars.
The theives.
The sneaks.
My sort of people.

The Bomb, The Roach and The Ghost have found it out and are now looking at each other accusingly in a circle.

It even might be one of us.

____________________________

I sit in the Court of Shadows meeting room with all our few spies.
"We need to meet the Lower Court's spies and sneaks. Unless we already know them," The Roach adds, tilting back in his seat.

"Surely not," I snap. "We need to get them to trust us,"

We need to pretend to betray Elfhame.